Sunday, 18 May 2014

What Was Then And How I Got To Now Will Not Be The Future Or How I Get There

What follows is solely my view about myself...
Ever since I was a child, (I can remember as far back as 8 years old and there are memories that go even further back to when I was 4 years old but, naturally, memories from such a young age are not 100% reliable), I felt deep inside my core that I would be happier living as a female.
This was confirmed whenever I dressed as a female and proved 100% accurate when I finally transitioned 29 years later (and there was a lot of self-loathing and confusion in those 29 years!) in 2010.
Now, when I talk about transition, I don't mean that I transitioned from male to female. For I don't believe I was male before I transitioned... but neither do I believe I was female before I transitioned.
Rather I believe I had no definable gender identity before I transitioned and only discovered it afterwards.
Or, to put it another way: I didn't feel that I was male. Instead, I felt deep kinship with females and that I would probably be happier living as a female but at no point did I actually identify as female. Female was just the closest thing to what I felt I was (and this is partly why I also don't believe gender identity is binary).
Now I have transitioned, I have lived comfortably as a female for four years, the inner voice that tormented me ever since I hit puberty has gone quiet, and I have educated myself infinitely more about gender identity. As a result, I now happily identify as female (and this is partly why I also believe gender identity is fluid).
Thus, since my female identity only started 4 years ago, I do not believe I have any significant heritage as a female. After all, compared to cis (non-Trans) women of my age, I am a mere toddler in my development as a female!
So I quite understand why some people would baulk if I claimed heritage I do not have but, at the same time, I also resent any attempt to use my heritage against me for, as far as I'm concerned, that is kind of like asking someone who used to wait on tables to be a waiter even now they've now qualified as a heart surgeon (even if they do still work around tables!).
Furthermore, my heritage as an identified man is deeply regrettable to me and thus I would not seek to use it to any kind of advantage for the simple fact that I don't see it as any kind of advantage! Quite the reverse!
So I would therefore ask that everyone respects that my heritage is history and keeps it that way.

Monday, 12 May 2014

The Human Being

Today you don't tend to get freak shows in the UK. We seem to think of them as in bad taste and like to think we're more enlightened than we used to be; that people shouldn't be labelled as "freaks", ridiculed and stared at.
On Saturday, Conchita Wurst - winner of Eurovision 2014 - proved that we're just kidding ourselves.
Here, as in the olden days, was a "bearded lady" performing for our entertainment. And, true to form, the media - who, lest we forget, only reflect what we, the British public, are really thinking - had a field day before and after the event.
The Daily Mail, for example, posted this article online (note the URL) detailing her "amazing transformation" "from male singer to Eurovision diva".
Another fine bastion of the UK press, The Metro, posted this article informing it's readers "Everything you need to know about Conchita Wurst".
And The Guardian posted this article by Trans Media Watch representative, Paris Lees, stating that Conchita shows us "what gender diversity really looks like".
Of course, someone like Conchita isn't going to perform to universal acclaim - despite her landslide victory at Eurovision - and you can take your pick from these articles at Pink News to see what I mean.
And when you see the media blitz as a whole, it can seem that an awful lot of time and words have been expended on... a beard!
Is a group of hairs on someone's face really that interesting?!! Of course not!
No, what this is really about is about appearances and someone who won't conform to what we consider to be male nor female.
So perhaps, instead of expending so much time and energy trying to make Conchita fit into our way of thinking, perhaps we ought to save all that time and energy and see if we can simply make our way of thinking include someone like Conchita.
In that regard, I point you to Conchita's website and these words...
it's not about appearances; it's about the human being

Saturday, 3 May 2014

Myths About Transgender People

I have just come across this list of myths about Transgender people:

Myth #1: Transgender people live crazy lives.
Myth #2: Transgender people are confused.
Myth #3: Transgender people are mentally disturbed.
Myth #4: Transgender people are gay.
Myth #5: Transgender people are radical liberals with crazy ideas.
Myth #6: Transgender people hate their bodies.
Myth #7: Transgender people perform in drag shows.
Myth #8: You can tell someone is transgender just by looking at them.
Myth #9: Transgender people aren’t “real” men or women.
Myth #10: Transgender people are weird.

I tried to read her explanations behind these myths but, frankly, it's far too wordy for me and doesn't chime with the way I'd describe things.
This is the way I'd describe things...

None of these are myths. They are all true.
Transgender people do live crazy lives, they are confused, they are mentally disturbed, they are gay, they are radical liberals with crazy ideas, they do hate their bodies, they do perform in drag shows, etc, etc...
But not all of them. 
And none of it makes them any different to a cis (non-transgender) person. Because they too live crazy lives, they too are confused, they too are mentally disturbed, they too are gay, they too are radical liberals with crazy ideas, they too hate their bodies, they too perform in drag shows, etc, etc...
So when it all comes down to it, the only thing that separates a transgender person from a cis person is that a transgender person doesn't conform to the strict gender binary where boys are boys and girls and girls and never the twain shall meet.
...except cis people don't do that either! I've often seen cis people crossdress! 
So, when Transgender is an umbrella term that incorporates Transsexuals, Transvestites, Crossdressers, Gender Queer, Gender Nonconforming, Drag Queen, Drag King and more, just what does make the difference between a cis and a transgender person exactly??? 
Does it really come down to the genitals we were born with??? Must an event we had no control over dictate how we present ourselves for the rest of our lives? Must we say "To hell with my liberty!" and "To hell with my personal well being!" because of our genitals???
Perhaps it is no surprise that I, a transsexual, feel that the personal cost is too great to go down that road.
Perhaps it is no surprise that I, a transsexual, feel that the only real myth in Anna Magdalena's list is this one:

Myth #11: Sex and gender are straightforward.

But I am constantly surprised... shocked! ...angered! ...saddened the lengths people go to enforce that myth.