Wednesday, 30 December 2015

30th December 2015

Love: I've only been gone a day but I'm missing my Mia already. Thankfully, I have Sonia looking after her for me. Such a weight off my mind knowing she's being kept an eye on. :)
Life: This morning my parents and I went into town to a cafe. They also had a deli part to it and all the cafe fare was homemade. I had a mince pie and tea. It was very nom! :) After that, we wandered around a few shops but only bought a few provisions. It was raining very hard and we got soaked through. So we came home to dry out. This evening we went back into town for a meal at an Indian restaurant. I had Lamb Passanda and homemade blackcurrant ice cream for afters. Again, it was very nom! :)
One Thing: The one thing I'm choosing today is having Sonia look after Mia for me. It's such a weight off my mind! :)

Tuesday, 29 December 2015

29th December

Love: Poor little Mia is all on her lonesome tonight. I miss her but know that she'll be OK - and probably having a party with all her boyfriends, knowing her! :)
Life: This morning I went to get my glasses. They are varifocal and when I ordered them the lady said people either get on with them or they don't. Well, I'm glad to say I'm one of those who do. I've worn them all day today - even driving down to Devon with them - and not had any problem at all. :) So, yes, I'm now in Devon, staying with my parents until the new year. I had a bit of a dilemma getting the key to my cat sitter, Sonia, though - until I decided to stop being an arse and go and take the key to her! After that, it was a 7 hour drive - most of it not bad except between Manchester and Stoke where the average was 30mph! And, although the M5 is a lot quieter than the M6, you get a lot of middle-lane-hoggers! Most frustrating! So, anyway, I made it here safe and sound and that's the main thing and many thanks to Sonia for helping me out in my time of need. :)
One Thing: The one thing I'm choosing today is being with my parents. They're all right really - in small doses! :)

Monday, 28 December 2015

28th December 2015

Love: Mia can be a funny old thing! She came up to me this evening but seemed in two minds whether to sit on my lap or not. So I hugged her to me but she wasn't having any of it, ran away and avoided me the rest of the evening! :(
Life: this morning I met Ali and was treated to a mocha and double chocolate gateaux at Patisserie Valerie. Then we had a potter around the shops but being a student seems to have made me a miser as I was turning my nose up to tops as being too expensive at £20! Then we met Ali's partner, Patrick, and went to Hotel Chocolat's cafe where I was treated again! It was my first time in the cafe and I was shocked to discover they do 100% chocolate! According to Ali though it's not very nice. After we went our separate ways, I got a text from Ian saying he was gonna do my front and back gardens for me this afternoon, so I returned home pronto! (And Ian was true to his word :) ) This evening I've watched lots of catch-up telly again and wrote a new poem called Stargazing.
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is spending time with Ali. She's a lovely woman and I really enjoy her company - especially when she keeps treating me to cake! :)

Sunday, 27 December 2015

27th December 2015

Love: sometimes Mia doesn't have to do anything - just watching her sleep is enough to make me go all gooey eyed. :)
Life: I've spent most of the day watching catch-up telly, Amazon and Netflix again. Pretty boring really. I even drifted off to sleep this afternoon! I also did the laundry and cooked myself chilli for tea. A rather uneventful day in all.
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is having Mia's company. She brings so much joy into my life these days it's easy to forget how hard it was at the beginning of the year when I didn't think I was up to the job of looking after her. Thank fuck I never gave her away like I feared I would have to at the time! I don't think I could manage without her now!

Saturday, 26 December 2015

26th December 2015

Love: Mia's been off her food today. Dunno quite why. Probably getting fed elsewhere again :(
Life: this morning started with being woken up at 4:30am by Mia. There was no way I was getting up at that time! So I shut her in the kitchen. I'm hoping it'll eventually sink in that I really don't appreciate being woken up before 7am - maybe one day! When I got up proper I watched the Doctor Who Christmas special which I thought was pretty lame! But then the Christmas special nearly always is! Mid-morning I went for a wander into Liscard to get some bananas for my breakfasts next week but the fruit shop was shut and Tesco didn't have any bananas at all! When I got home again, I made myself a corned beef and beetroot salad sarnie for my dinner before watching a load more catch-up telly and Netflix. This evening I wasn't feeling very hungry, having stuffed myself on chocs again, so just had ham on toast and my Christmas pudding with clotted cream (I couldn't afford brandy sauce!). I've still some cream left so I shall look forward to having that on a scone tomorrow. :)
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is living a long way from a river! Watching some of the footage of places flooded out has been pretty hair-raising! I'm almost certain our old house in Hutton will have been flooded out, with that stream right behind it!

Friday, 25 December 2015

25th December 2015

Love: today is the second day running I've felt connected to John. Perhaps that was his Christmas pressie to me?
Life: Mia woke me up at 5am but, it being Christmas, I had charity in my heart so didn't shut her in the kitchen as usual but got up and fed her breakfast. I hope she doesn't expect that every morning! Then I made myself a cup of tea and opened my pressies. I'd told people to donate to good causes but I still had a handsome selection of pressies to open. :) Then I gave Mia her pressies. One was a mouse in a ball - she doesn't normally take to toys, so I was thrilled that she appeared to like this one! Then she realised she couldn't get the mouse out of the ball and lost all interest in it! Try as I might! For my breakfast I made poached egg and black pudding on toast which was lovely! :) I didn't bother with dinner - just stuffed myself on the chocs people had got me! For tea I did my venison with (more) black pudding, sprout, roast spuds, beetroot salad and redcurrant jelly in mulled wine gravy. It was delish! I think it could become my new Christmas tradition! :) For afters I had trifle... followed by Christmas cake and baklava. I have ate very handsomely today! :) Meanwhile, I have watched lots of catch-up telly, Netflix and Amazon. Just a really lovely, chilled, day in all! :)
One Thing: I'm so glad I didn't put any pressure on myself this year to be or do anything! I've made Christmas my own and just had a lovely day in all! This is self-love and it's worked (as it always does)! :)
Addendum: just remembered the funniest thing that happened yesterday: I had Mia on my lap whilst I was scoffing chocolates, when I dropped one and Mia was on it like a shot and, believing chocolate is poisonous to cats, I immediately tried to get it off her but she ran away with it! So I started to panic but she must've tasted the chocolate because she just dropped it. It's reassuring to think that I don't need to worry about her being poisoned - she knows what's good and bad for her. Clever girl! :)

Thursday, 24 December 2015

24th December 2015

Love: it's a beautiful night tonight with the full moon and stars bright in the sky. Seeing that just now made me feel connected to John again - where else would he be, with his fixation on astronomy, but out in space somewhere! It also allowed me to feel his reassurance again to do what I feel to be right; to trust in myself. I guess I have slipped on that score again. No one knows me better than me these days!
Life: this morning I went to get my decapeptyl injection. Such a pain in the arse - especially on Christmas Eve! - but it does help things along. When I got home I got a phonecall to say my glasses are ready already - 3 days after ordering them! - but I couldn't be arsed to go out again, so they'll wait till next week now. This afternoon I painted my paint-it-yourself mug Janette got me for my birthday. It looks so juvenile, it would make Picasso proud! (Artist joke) Then this evening I have watched Amazon. One of the things I watched was Nativity 3: Dude Where's My Donkey? which was positively awful but festive enough to get me in the Christmas spirit.
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is giving the house a clean. I can now relax tomorrow in pleasant surroundings instead of my usual filth!

Wednesday, 23 December 2015

23rd December 2015

Love: I've been lucky tonight. I've had Mia come for cuddles not once but twice! It's lovely to feel loved! :)
Life: today I visited Julie to swap Christmas presents. She also gave me my birthday presents whilst I was there. I felt quite spoilt! :) When I got home I decided to play with my marbling paints I bought a fortnight ago. I didn't realise how hard they'd be to clean off! I've ruined a perfectly good bucket and have had to scrub my hands till they're red! I shall definitely use them with more caution in future! This evening, for reasons I can't quite remember, I watched a few YouTube videoes. One featured James Baldwin and William F Buckley and the other two featured Noam Chomsky. I was very impressed by the intelligence on display - and loathed Buckley! However, it has also become apparent to me that these videos of 20-50 years ago show that the situation we are in today has been a long time in coming - a gradual worsening and tightening of the noose. It confirms what I've known for a long time now - that this is no accident; that the general population is fucked! Any power we believe we have is an illusion. We are not the ones in control and the powers that be are intent on keeping it that way. Democracy is a sham! Do I want to live under such conditions? No, I believe I do not. Do I believe I can do anything about it? No, I fear history proves that we the general population can not - especially with a government such as ours that has no intention of ceding power to us and has us under thumb. So what is the solution? The only solution I see is one I'm too scared to take right now. :(
One Thing: The one thing I'm choosing is cuddles with Mia. Not for the first time - not by a long shot! - she's the only reason I'm here typing this.

Tuesday, 22 December 2015

22nd December 2015

Life: I wish I could adequately describe how I feel right now. I feel like life is futile. I question what is the point in making the effort. Even knowing people are significantly worse off than me only gives me temporary respite. Meanwhile... This morning I took the car for a free Winter Check and they found nothing that couldn't wait until the annual service next year. Then I dropped some food off at Wirral Foodbank and got a certificate of thanks for it. After that I went into Liverpool to speak to the people at Vodafone about why my Spotify account wasn't working properly. They sorted out the problem pretty pronto. They're good people there. I also paid in a cheque at the bank. I then went to the World Museum to look at an exhibition on Trans armed forces personnel - only to find it was at the Museum of Liverpool! Doh! My only complaint about the exhibition is that I know one of the people it features is a rather unlikeable person. However, it did have some beautiful photographs. Unfortunately, my journey home afterwards was a bit traumatic as my Arriva bus app had stopped working and deleted my term-time ticket so I feared I was stuck in Liverpool! However, I managed to contact them and they explained the servers had gone down and that the bus driver should allow me to travel for free and that my term-ticket would be reinstated in due course. True to their word, the bus driver did let me travel for free but my term-time ticket hasn't reappeared as yet.
One Thing: The one thing I'm choosing today is witnessing a child point at the photographs and say "those are transgender people". When I transitioned in 2010, very few adults knew what "transgender" was - now kids know what the word means! That is progress I'm glad to have made a small part in! 

Monday, 21 December 2015

21st December 2015

Love: got depressed about my non-existent love life again tonight. Trouble is I can't really afford time or money for a relationship anyway.
Life: this morning I had a moment of inspiration courtesy of Clare. So I've abandoned my plan to drive all the way to Southport on Christmas Day for a meal out that I can't really afford and bought myself some venison to cook instead. Venison is what John and I would traditionally have on Christmas Day and I've missed it. This will only be my second attempt at cooking it, so I'm quite excited about it. Will it be a disaster or a success? Stay tuned to find out! :) I also went to the Co-Op to spend my annual tokens divvy, with which I bought a bottle of mulled wine and some Thorntons chocolates. :) This morning I also had an eye test at Specsavers and, surprise surprise, my eyesight has got worse and I now need glasses for close and far distances, so I've been persuaded to try verifocals. I hope I get a refund if I don't get on with them! They're costing me £200! Which is yet more proof, as if it were needed, I need to be earning - hopes of living off John's pension are plainly cuckoo! :( This evening I gave Mia her monthly flea treatment. The trouble is she's learned to recognise the smell of the stuff, so she didn't come sit on my lap as usual and I ended up having to distract her with Dreamies whilst I did it! I also watched itv's live production of The Sound Of Music which I really enjoyed - unlike the movie (which I thought was mostly boring!).
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is the moment of inspiration from Clare that Christmas is mine to rewrite. I've been really lucky these last 2 years to spend it with Tony and Julie but now I feel I need to be independent and stand on my own two (wonky) feet.

Sunday, 20 December 2015

20th December 2015

Love: I believe it is a truth that all of us hold love within us. However, instead of looking within us to find the love we contain, we look outside of us for things to love. What is even worse are the people who tell us our love is wrong and that love can only be possible if we do it their way. All this is distraction. We should ignore it but rarely do we do that. :(
Life: I have spent much of the day asleep. I think it was 3 months lack of a good night's sleep catching up with me. However, I got myself together to go to St Brides Christmas service. It was my second year of going. It was very good again. I don't consider myself a Christian by any means but, if I'm going to celebrate Christmas, I feel I ought to at least observe the Christianity of it! Anyway, tonight's service had a theme of 'a light in the darkness'. It started with the observation that although we may find light in the darkness, we never find darkness in light which I thought was rather profound! The minister then talked about how our current western society is so full of light - via electricity - the mystery and effect of light in our world has been drowned out, thus we are blinded! However, the bit that resonated with me most strongly was the fear of light - how many of us shrink from the light in fear of where that light will lead. I certainly am one of them. I don't like being in the spotlight - I fear the expectation to shine! I also tend to ignore the light that is my spirituality for fear of being lead astray. As much as I'm wary of Christianity, I was raised a Christian and, like it or not, it is part of my spirituality. However, I am wary of Christianity because it has lead me to hate - most of all to hate myself. Thus I fear it. What does it say about a religion that I fear being corrupted by it?!! And, yet, I can't ignore it. However, tonight I had a tiny revelation - what I'm attracted to is the light/goodness/love. But I don't need to go to church or be part of the Christian faith to feel that. I have felt it just as strongly at Big Love Sista... and, thinking on it, that is what I've missed most these last 3 months since I started college - my dose of spirituality courtesy of BLS. So, recognising this, I recognise I need to make more effort than ever to not deprive myself of it. I need that light in my life so that I don't wander in darkness. And, talking about light, what is it that our government's doing but making life darker for people! It doesn't take much imagination to work out why the powers that be want the general population to dwell in darkness! This government are dangerous and it needs to be removed asap!
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is catching up on my sleep. I feel much better for it. :)

Saturday, 19 December 2015

19th December 2015

Love: this evening I have had some friends over for a gathering to celebrate my birthday. It was lovely :) and to think I'd never even had a birthday party until 2010! :)
Life: this morning I opened my birthday cards and then popped to Home Bargains for some cider for Christmas. After that I went to New Brighton on the bus, had some dinner and then went to the panto at the Floral - Sleeping Beauty. It was excellent! Really well put together, brilliantly performed and I've not laughed so loud in ages! :) Then I popped into Morrisons for a birthday cake before coming home for the evening.
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is having friends travel from miles around to be with me on my birthday. It really makes me feel appreciated. :)

Friday, 18 December 2015

18th December 2015

Life: I have had a lovely day. This morning I met Patricia in Liverpool to watch Star Wars 7. It was a very enjoyable film but I was most upset when Stump the Ewok died as he was by far my favourite! But then I always did like the work of Jim Henson :) Afterwards we went around to Debenhams to look at Christmas presents for Patricia's family and had a cup of tea. After that, we went to Cass Arts and Primark where I bought a Star Wars tshirt - its traditional to watch the film and then buy the tshirt, right? We then went our separate ways and I went to have a massage with Nina. It was so relaxing, I was falling asleep! And my shoulders feel wonderful! :) I then went to Tokyou for tea before coming home and doing very little.
One Thing: I'm being greedy and choosing the whole day because I've loved today! :) It's felt like my birthday a day early! :)

Thursday, 17 December 2015

17th December 2015

Life: I met up with Kirsteen from work today. We had lunch at the Marino Lounge and I also sampled a couple of glasses of their mulled cider. I'd taken the bus there so didn't have to worry about drinking and driving. It was good to see her and catch up on our news. Unfortunately, she's not been very well and could only manage the hour before she was tired out and had to go home again. But it was good to see her none the less. :) Afterwards, I saw the final instalment of The Hunger Games. It was alright but all the promise it showed in the first movie was well and truly gone. It practically limped to the closing credits! Then I went and got some food for the weekend from Morrisons. It was useful to see how I would cope if I had to do the weekly shop via the bus: I would have to be very disciplined to ensure I didn't buy more than a basket full of food or else it'd be too much to carry home again! This evening I had a scone for tea as I wasn't really hungry after lunch and then sweets at the cinema. Then I watched Transparent and I have to say I'm enjoying the second series a lot more than the first! :)
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is finally making a firm decision about my future. I'm scared but I've decided it's all or nothing now. There's no point sitting on the fence anymore - I have too much to lose.

Wednesday, 16 December 2015

16th December 2015

Love: my lovely Mia has been ever so thoughtful and got me a Christmas present - a dead pigeon, which I found in a heap of feathers in my hall! I'm an ungrateful wretch though because I shoved it in a bin bag as quick as I dared! In fact, I couldn't even bare to touch it even with marigolds on!
College: I arrived at college for just after 8am and had submitted my remaining work by just after 10am. After that I helped Jody out before having a quick lunch and going home (to pigeon surprise!). So that's it now - 3 weeks of boredom and loneliness to look forward to. Hurray!
Life: This afternoon I went to the post office to post my last 2 Christmas cards and then the sorting office to pick up two parcels... except one of them was for someone else at a different address! I do love these dyslexic posties they employ these days! They make life interesting! Then I picked up my prescription on the way home. When I got home I promptly went out again to Gordale. Gordale has become part of my Christmas tradition since I moved here. It's the most Christmassy shop I know and I like to go and browse but it's prices are so ridiculously overpriced that's all I ever do is browse! This evening I watched a documentary on Ray Harryhausen. It was good and rather amusing that all these top notch directors known for drowning every inch of screen in cgi were saying stop animation was so much better! Er, like put your money where your mouth is then!
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is Mia's present. It totally freaked me out but it has certainly elevated today out of the ordinary!

Tuesday, 15 December 2015

15th December 2015

Love: Just a brief cuddle with Mia tonight before she disappeared off out. I keep telling her she doesn't have to live with me if she doesn't want to - she can go live with whoever it is she disappears off to - but she keeps coming back.
College: today I submitted my fashion, graphics, makeup and drawing communication work. However, looking at my other books tonight, I've noticed I've not written my name on all my books. So now I'm wondering whether I wrote my name on all the books I submitted! Rookie mistake! I also lost my temper at college today and every other word became "fuck" at several times in the day. It's a combination of stress, lack of patience and my volcanic temper. Hopefully, I won't be quite as worked up tomorrow. I don't know what was going on with the traffic tonight but there was obviously some problem going through the tunnel, making the buses ridiculously late! So I caught the 433 home and walked the extra distance instead of the 432 which drops me at the end of the road.
Life: tonight I've just tried to chill - having no work to do. I watched 3 itv programs (so low brow!) and then Still Game on Netflix.
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is handing my work in. It's one less thing to worry about... except, of course, I will.

Monday, 14 December 2015

14th December 2015

Life: today I had the handyman come to fix the shower screen as it'd started leaking again. It took him all of 30 seconds to do it! And he showed me how to fix it myself if it happens again. He is a really good handyman and I'm so glad Ive found one so thoughtful and helpful. :) After that I wandered into town to pick up a parcel from my parents. I also bought the last of my Christmas presents whilst in town. On getting home I found another delivery card for another parcel to collect! After lunch I did an art journal page in my contextual studies book and wrote out my Christmas cards for college whilst watching The Man In The High Castle on Amazon. This evening I made a soup out of the leftovers from yesterday's roast dinner. It is very nom! :)
One thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is just having a nice relaxing day in which I could potter and do what I wanted. :)

Sunday, 13 December 2015

13th December 2015

Love: as I type, I have Mia on my lap. Sorry to be repetitive but she is the sweetest cat and I love her! :)
Life: I've had a very busy weekend and not much sleep so I'm not going to go into detail but, for a start, I've not had to buy tea at all this weekend but still ate the most gorgeous food! I also had a makeover yesterday and didn't have to pay for that either! I've also done art and a bit more art and claimed the title of artist for myself. But now I'm very tired and going to bed very shortly...
College: not really done much college work this weekend but I've finished off all my sketchbooks this morning. Not quite sure what I'm gonna do Tuesday and Wednesday!
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing this weekend is the generosity of my friends. I've been spoilt silly this weekend and much appreciated it! :)

Friday, 11 December 2015

11th December 2015

Love: today I had a soul card reading. It said I was in limbo and should wait for life to show me the way forward. Unfortunately, I had it done by a friend so now my scepticism wonders how genuine it was. Next time I shall have it done by a stranger.
Life/College: what a day! I got into college early to get the voice over done for our video for media. It took a fraction of the time I thought it would and it worked out really well as well! :) Then we had fashion and I didn't get much done because half the lesson was the staff asking us if we needed any support because the general attendance was so low. I don't know who's bright idea it was to have support staff take up 1 hour of our time because of some students' attendance meant they were getting behind on lessons 2 college days before deadline (can you spot the flaw yet?!!) but it wasn't appreciated by me! After that we had makeup and Patricia turned me into a zombie (it took longer than you might think!). After which we went to the library to upload our media video to YouTube and were told off for nattering by some feckwit! I was tempted to give him some lip but I didn't know whether he was student or staff so decided not to risk it. After college, Patricia gave me a lift into town and we went to Mowgli and had some bunny chow for tea before going to BLS studio for our end of semester show. I didn't sell any of my paintings - except for the one I made especially for Christmas which I managed to auction off for £40. :)
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is... The whole day! Today was just one of those full-on days with epic ups and major downs. So it'd be wrong to separate it out into portions because it just has to be taken as a whole.

Thursday, 10 December 2015

10th December 2015

Love: love isn't just about who your partner is. It's also being lovely and having love in your heart. I'm lucky to know lots of people who fit that description. So my life is not short of love. :)
Life: today I didn't do any college work. I should've done but I didn't have time to fit it in. The morning started with mopping the kitchen floor (long overdue!) and doing the food shopping. Then I sorted out my drugs and Internet subscription (which was a bit of a palava!). This afternoon I went to BLS studio to hang my paintings for tomorrow's art show and bought myself a new coat and rucksack. I hope they last longer than the ones they're replacing! They certainly cost enough! (Sale or no sale!) I also popped into Vodafone to ask what happens when my contract expires next week and walked out with a year extension at less than half the price I was previously paying (which I can terminate after 3 months if I so wish). So I'd say that was a very effective salesman! After that I popped into Aldi on the way home but I was too early to get my ham for Boxing Day as the expiry was for the week before! I forget what I did this evening but it wasn't college work.
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is being told how much I should be asking for my paintings! There's serious money in this!... provided someone buys them of course! :)

Wednesday, 9 December 2015

9th December 2015

College: I got to college just after 8am today. It was then that I discovered that my zipper was stuck on my coat. I feared I would be wearing it for the rest of my life for a while but I eventually undid it! However, I guess I'm now gonna have to buy myself a new coat now as well as a rucksack! :( As I'd already done my VM and ID projects, I used the time to rewrite my contextual studies essay. Instead of the 9 hours it took me on Sunday, this one I wrote in 2 hours! And I much prefer it too! So, when it came to the lesson this afternoon, I was able to give my teacher not one but two essays to look over! :) This afternoon ended with me editing our 1 min film. My first attempt arrived at the 90 secs mark, so I've had to trim quite a bit out but I'm happy enough with the final cut. All it needs now is Patricia's approval and her voice over doing. When I got home, I had tea and then worked a bit on my sketchbooks before turning to bed.
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is Mia coming up to me for a good half hour cuddle. She is a darling! :)

Tuesday, 8 December 2015

8th December 2015

Love: so a while ago I joined Wapa and I've had about half a dozen people expressing an interest. So thoughts that I'm undesirable are patently untrue! However, I don't think this is the right time to be starting a relationship with anyone as I couldn't really afford the time or the expense at the moment.
College: today has been a pretty lazy day at college. I played with paints for an hour, had another go at writing my essay for an hour, and helped Patricia with her logo for an hour - all pretty easy going stuff really! I also had a chat with Shirley who my tutor told me to speak to last week as she supposedly shared my love of collage. It wasn't the case. She claimed to be into digital media and another tutor, Andy, is the guy who's into traditional media. She also showed me some of the current students work and it was lovely but just not me! :( So I've met two of the three tutors on the course now and seen some of the students' work and I can't say I'm a good fit! :( So I'm stumped as to what to do! I feel torn one way and torn another! :( Talking about tearing - my bag has a rip in it! So I'm gonna have to buy a new one now! I can't say I'm impressed because it was an expensive (by my standards) proper rucksack and its barely lasted more than a year! :(
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is doing the abstract painting. I love messing about with paints and being experimental, so it was good fun! :)

Monday, 7 December 2015

7th December 2015

Love: there's nothing more special in my life right now than when Mia comes for a cuddle. She is such a sweet natured little cat! I love her to death! :)
Life: yesterday consisted of writing my 500 word essay for contextual studies and little else - which is why I didn't bother blogging about it! This morning I woke up and had a better idea for my essay! However, I am refusing to rewrite it unless I get clear of all my other projects (which may be a possibility). So I worked on my sketchbooks instead this morning before popping into Liscard to post my Christmas cards... and buy some more! Over the weekend I learned that CAW have moved away to Birkenhead. I have to say I'm a bit heartbroken I can no longer pop into see my friends on my walk into Liscard. I feel a little bit abandoned tbh. ;( This evening I watched 2 movies before heading to bed.
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is doing my monthly finances. Doing so, enabled me see my financial situation clearly and plan for my future.

Saturday, 5 December 2015

5th December 2015

Life: I've had a lovely day. :) As I've pretty much done my college work and today was the Intrust Christmas party I decided to do lots of Christmassy stuff today. I got the bus to Liverpool and headed to St Georges Hall for the Winter Craft Fair but I was too early so I went to the library and treated myself to a mocha at their cafe. I then went to the craft fair which was suffering from a lack of signage so I struggled to find my way around. I did eventually find my way to the right bit and had a jolly old gander! :) it was a very impressive selection and I could've spent a fortune if I'd been so inclined! :) After that I wandered into the centre to look at the Christmas markets but was rather disappointed tbh. It was a shadow of itself compared to previous years! :( However, I did treat myself to some Scouse from one of the stalls and very nice it was too! After that I got the train out to Waterloo and wandered up to Caz's Kitchen but they didn't have any Big Love Sista cake as I hoped so I had a cake bomb instead and a cuppa tea. On leaving I bought some mince pies for the Christmas party and wandered over to Waterloo high street where I had another cuppa tea before wandering over to the Christmas party. It was a lovely meet - the Christmas party is always the best meet of the year imho! - but a few of the regulars were much missed. :( After the meeting we went to a Turkish restaurant and had a lovely meal! :) I then got a lift home and proceeded to then do my Christmas cards. :) so I am now rather worn out and ready for bed - provided the wind doesn't keep me up all night again!
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is the Winter Arts Fair. I found lots of lovely stalls there today and I'm tempted to go back tomorrow - especially as there's meant to be another 50 different stalls there! :)

Friday, 4 December 2015

4th December 2015

Love: this morning, to encourage Mia to come for a cuddle before I left for college, I enticed her with some Dreamies. I arrived home from college to find said Dreamies torn open and entire contents scoffed! Obviously I must've left them on the sofa when I went off to college! And the cheeky thing still wanted tea this evening! :D
College: This morning I took a load of my artwork in to college to try and convince my lecturer to put me forward for the fine art course at Liverpool Hope. She argued the case that I'm better suited to graphics and illustration. So I argued my case - that I wanted to do stuff that allowed me to experiment and express myself and that I love collage. To which she responded by taking me to the graphics studio - with its walls covered with collage! Which was pretty much all I needed to convince me to stay there and do graphics! :) But just to be sure and settle any remaining doubts I'm hoping to meet with the lecturer, Shirley, next week. :) Other pluses include automatic acceptance onto the course at the end of the year, not having to put a portfolio together over Christmas for interview and it being £1000 cheaper than Liverpool Hope. After meeting with my tutor, I then pretty much finished off my final fashion illustration, did my final make-up design (which I intended to just be a final practice before I did it for real next week but it went so well I asked if I could submit it for my final and she accepted! :) ), and then Patricia and I finished off our filming for our media project (which will now need to be edited together next week). It was a very productive day in all! :)
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is having a meeting with my tutor this morning. It kind of feels like what I wished and hoped for is coming true - but not quite as I imagined it! Which is almost even better! :)

Thursday, 3 December 2015

3rd December 2015

Love: no cuddles from Mia today :(
Life/college: the morning started with an email from my MP telling me why she voted to bomb Syria and me replying to it telling her I'll never vote for her again. Then I went and did the food shop. When I got back home I finished off one of my canvases for BLS. After lunch I practiced my final design for my make-up lesson. However, I had to do it in the mirror without my glasses on so it wasn't exactly precise! I still got a feel of the products though and how best to apply them. After that I did some work on my sketchbooks. After tea I sorted out things I might want to include in my portfolio for interview if I transfer to Liverpool Hope next September as I have a meeting with my tutor tomorrow so she can decide if she'll put me forward for it or not. I also looked at my finances and I fear I'm going to have to see if I can unlock myself from my 3 year ISA to be able to afford it! ...or sell my car. :( I ended the evening by watching Jessica Jones and Still Game on Netflix.
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is finishing my canvas. It is a concept piece so it was a moment of trepidation to see if the concept works or not and rewarding to see that it did! And the concept is such that it can only get better now! :)

Wednesday, 2 December 2015

2nd December 2015

Love: The evening ended with cuddles with Mia again. How I love that cat! :) In regards to love of the human kind, I was thinking this evening how on earth am I going to find a girlfriend when I have no social life and I don't have any money for a social life and I hate "The Scene"?!! I also don't believe any lesbian is gonna want a Trans woman as their partner... so spinsterhood here I come!
College: today started well but I'm afraid college got a tiny taste (a nibble?) of my volcanic temper by the end of the day. I feel like I should apologise but I'm not sorry, so I'd rather not because that'd make me a liar. On the bright side, my projects are going well and I'm well on the way to having them finished in the next fortnight. :) incidentally, I have my weekly poetry class tomorrow but I have to say right now I'm minded not to go. I'd much rather work on college stuff and getting my portfolio together. I think that with the weekly food shop will be plenty for tomorrow!
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is my lecturer praising me for my work. Considering she drives me potty half the time, it was much appreciated! :)

Tuesday, 1 December 2015

1st December 2015

Life: so I wasn't in a good place yesterday but, as I hoped, I was in a better frame of mind today. In other news, my Darth Vader advent calendar produced a reindeer today.
College: the college day started with a presentation from a lecturer at Liverpool Hope about their fine art course and he certainly made an impression because at least 3/4s of us want to go there now! :) Yesterday I also said Graphic Design bored me rigid. That's not true. Parts of it were certainly tedious but not all of it. However, after today's Graphics lesson, I'm not sure I want to do it at Hugh Baird college. My lecturer seems to have a very set opinion of what Graphics is and really struggled to comprehend why I'd want my logo to be a real object (turned digital via the computer) rather than a computer graphic! I mean, it's the 21st century for fuck sake! Broaden your horizons! I really don't fancy spending the next 3 years having to kick against such narrow mindedness!
Love: Mia is definitely taking herself off somewhere for tea these days. She disappeared for several hours this evening and, in these temperatures, there's no way she spent all that time outdoors! The fickle hussy! :)
One Thing: the one thing that has made today worthwhile is the presentation from Liverpool Hope. No pun intended but it has given me hope for the future and put a spring in my step today. :)