Saturday, 30 April 2016

30th April 2016

Mia: Mia has enjoyed having a new playmate again today but is now totally conked out at my feet! :)
Life: it was a slow start to the day, waiting for Pauline to turn up at noon. But it was then non-stop afterwards. First we went to B&Q, and from there to Liverpool. Where we wandered up Bold Street window shopping and then into Kasbah for an early tea. I had the couscous salad which was lovely. :) Then it was more window shopping and up to the CofE Cathedral which we had a wander around whilst being treated to the fabulous sounding church organ! :) It was then back to the car and out to see Anthony Gormley's Another Place. After that, we came back into town and went to St Brides to drop off some flyers for Sparkle In The Cathedral, but they were having a spirituality meeting there and bribed us with drinks and nibbles to join them, which was most hospitable of them. :) After that, we drove to New Brighton to get some Cakeaway from The Seahorse, which we ate back at my place whilst Sonia played with Mia. :)
One Thing: so much to choose from today but I'm gonna choose having the company of Pauline and Sonia and, in particular, Pauline's generosity of spirit in doing so much driving around! :)

Friday, 29 April 2016

29th April 2016

Mia: not really seen anything of Mia today but I think she enjoyed having a new playmate tonight :)
College: had a snotty bus driver take me to college today! He wanted to know why I'd taken his bus instead of a different one! I told him to go away (my exact words) and then took a photo of his bus and reported him. My college day was largely a productive one and I'm almost done on my FMP - a fortnight early! One of my tutors bumped into me in the library and gave me considerable praise for my work, which was very rewarding. :)
Life: I went into Liverpool this evening to meet up with Sonia. Except I must've got the wrong end of the stick as she was just going to a psychiatry film. So I sat and watched it as well. It was a very good film but I hadn't been intending to watch a film tonight. I thought we were just gonna hit the town! Anyway, afterwards we went to Damas for tea and shared a very nice mezze and a tirimisu. Then we did what I thought we were gonna do - check out Liverpool's gay scene. We started at The Lisbon and then went to Navy bar but that was completely dead so we called it a night - at 10pm! It seems Liverpool's gay scene doesn't get going until past my bedtime! :(
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is the praise I got off my tutor. It was most unexpected but lovely! :)

Thursday, 28 April 2016

28th April 2016

Mia: poor Mia had to go to the v.e.t. today because she'd been losing hair near her bottom. As usual getting her in the carrier was traumatic for both of us but I've discovered if you drape her towel on her it calms her down just enough to pick her up and put her in her carrier (of course that doesn't stop her trying to escape before you've had time to put the lid on, scratching or hissing at you!). So I shall have to remember that in future. Anyway, the v.e.t. reckoned it was blocked anal glands and took her away to sort her out. She brought her back 5 minutes later smelling rather whiffy! So I dread to think what they did to her! Anyway, all sorted now. That's the main thing.
Life: had a pretty lazy day but this evening I discovered the microwave meal I was gonna have doesn't cook from frozen and there was nothing else I fancied so it was an excuse to go out. I went to the Marino Lounge. I dunno what's happened to the place but the food and service were dreadful! I shan't bother again! I then came home and had strawberries and meringue for pudding and watched Daredevil on Netflix, which after the first few lacklustre episodes of season 2 has picked up again now. :)
College: I had a go at writing my 750 word essay this afternoon. I only got 500 words done and I couldn't think of anything else to write. So I sent it to Patricia to see if she had any ideas but she didn't. So I've printed it out and will show it to my tutor tomorrow for her feedback.
One Thing: I'm choosing cuddles with Mia again. After the traumatic day she's had it was lovely to see she still loves me. :)

Wednesday, 27 April 2016

27th April 2016

Mia: I've had fun and games and cuddles with Mia this evening! I feel quite spoilt! :) However, that might change tomorrow when I have to take her to the v.e.t.!
College: I've been working on my graphics all day - except for 90 mins of contextual studies when she insisted we did her work... despite the fact I've done all her work! So I went to the library and got a book to read! Waste of 90 mins of my time! I hate people who can't be flexible and so waste your time for no good reason! :( However, I am happy with the progress I've made on my FMP today. It's looking good! :)
Life: this evening I watched Carol (it was a pleasant enough film but I can't really see why people are raving about it!), and then Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day (slightly more enjoyable than Carol but still largely forgettable!).
One Thing: I'm very happy with my FMP tonight. I think it'll do me justice. :)

Tuesday, 26 April 2016

26th April 2016

Mia: I haven't given Mia the attention I would've liked today; She disappeared off out straight after breakfast and I was doing college work for most of this evening. I think she felt neglected too. Poor love! :(
College: I got to college this morning and was promptly informed Kerry would do my photoshoot for my FMP at 1:30pm, which was very kind of her. :) So I was in for my graphics lesson just long enough to inform my tutor of this. The photoshoot went very well and I had a good selection of photos to choose from. So we got them into my folder on the computer and then I went back to graphics for the rest of the afternoon where I gradually narrowed down my choice of photo to use. Unfortunately, my tutor kept on telling me to explore this, that, and the other option so I left feeling like I'd accomplished a great deal but also had a great deal more to do before I was at the stage I wanted to be at today. :( So this evening I've worked on my graphics stuff until 9pm but now feel clearer in mind exactly what I want and what I have to do. :)
Life: so today the junior doctors went on all at strike for the first time ever. That alone should tell you how badly the government are treating them! I am definitely on their side in this! It was also announced that the Hillsborough 96 had been unlawfully killed. I've not lived here all that long but it's long enough to know how this travesty runs like a vein through Liverpool. So I was quite emotional even though I'm merely an onlooker. On a completely different subject, when I got home I realised another pair of boots have but the dust! I'm fast running out and I've yet to find any decent replacements that don't make me baulk at the price!
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is the verdict for the Hillsborough 96. It was long overdue but it is only the start.

Monday, 25 April 2016

25th April 2016

Mia: Mia has been in a cuddly mood today. It was rather lovely :) What wasn't lovely was her clawing at my bedroom door, pulling strips out of it! A few more days of that and she'll have made her own handle!
Life: I went and did the food shopping this morning. Being veggie is certainly proving cheaper than being a carnivore so far! :) this evening I went to yoga. I dunno whether it was cos I missed it last week but tonight was hard! I really got angry with myself - which is not the idea at all! Coming back I got caught in a hail storm. It was crazy weather! On the bright side, my gutters aren't dripping. So it looks like that was money well spent! :)
College: I got my graphics sketchbook up-to-date today. Didn't take more than half an hour. :)
One Thing: I'm choosing cuddles with Mia. Cuddles with Mia makes any day special! :)
Only 8 months to Christmas now...

Sunday, 24 April 2016

24th April 2016

Mia: the day started well with fun and games but ended badly when I realised I had one less pouch of wet food than I thought. So, faced with a choice of giving her no tea or no breakfast, I opted to give her no tea. She has plenty of dry food so isn't going to starve but her look of expectation is heartbreaking and I keep apologising to her but it's upsetting and I feel bad. :(
Life: this morning I watched catch-up telly and then caught the bus to Liverpool for heArt School. Today we were doing oil painting. I enjoyed it but my hunch is I'm not going to be swapping acrylic for oils anytime soon. This evening I had chip omelette for tea (my own culinary creation but I'm baffled why it's not offered at chip shops! Perhaps I shall have to start asking for it and create a demand!) and watched the BBC's celebration of Shakespeare. I enjoyed it and it amplified my feelings that, when done by proper actors (instead of at school), you can hear the musicality of it and understand it! Perhaps then, instead of forcing it down our necks at school, they should allow us to discover it for ourselves when we're mature enough to appreciate it!
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is heArt School. I learned a great deal - and not just about oil painting!

Saturday, 23 April 2016

23rd April 2016

Mia: we had fun and games this morning but I'm convinced the only thing she's really interested in is food! Move towards the kitchen from anywhere in the house and she meows excitedly and hurtles towards the kitchen! Then, when you don't give her any food, she looks at you confused as if to say "where's the damn food?"! She gave me a bit of a fright this evening too when I thought she was coughing up a furball but it went on for ages! In the end, she didn't cough up anything!
Life: first thing, I applied to the Writing On The Wall 10 week writing course. Then, after breakfast, I worked some more on my latest canvas. This evening I got the bus to see a one man theatre production of 'The Singular Adventures of Sherlock Holmes' by Don't Go Down Into The Cellar! Productions. I didn't know what to expect but it was very good. I most enjoyed it! :)
College: I got my contextual studies stuff up-to-date this afternoon. I have no intention of adding anything more to it now. So that just leaves me my FMP to complete. :)
One Thing: I'm choosing going to the theatre tonight. It's nice to treat myself now and again (a little too often, to be honest!). :)

Friday, 22 April 2016

22nd April 2016

Mia: haven't really seen much of Mia today as I went upstairs this evening to work on computer and she chose to stay in lounge. Couldn't even really get her interested in chasing the ribbon before I came to bed.
College: a fairly productive day at college for a change. I have the rough concept of my campaign poster and the logo for my 'grief charity' done.
One Thing: I'm choosing having a productive day at college, with people I like, listening to Prince all day. :)

Thursday, 21 April 2016

21st April 2016

Mia: Mia is still alive and, the way 2016 is going, I am mightily relieved about that!
Life: I started another canvas this morning. This one is gonna be in my Art Journaling style. After that I went and met Clare to discuss the future. However, as we were dining at Wagamama, I got the news Prince had died. I saw him live in the mid 1990s and it is in the top 2 best concerts I've ever been to! He was such a gifted musician! :( After meeting Clare, I came home and have been watching Netflix.
One Thing: I am really made up with the tattoo I've got. It really didn't hurt anything like I thought it would! I will look forward to adding to it when I get more cats. :)

Wednesday, 20 April 2016

20th April 2016

Mia: today I had to give Mia her worming and flea treatments. The worming tablet was easy as ever - just put it amongst some Dreamies in my hand and she scoffs the lot down without even noticing! The flea drop is not so easy because she senses when it's about to happen and scarpers! So I have to be sneaky and do it mid-stroke without pausing because, again, if I pause whilst stroking her to drop the stuff in, she scarpers!
College: today was a slow day at college. I didn't really feel like I got much done at all! But I want to start designing it next week so it's looking like I'm gonna have a busy weekend! On the plus side, the feedback for my contextual studies was positive and so I just need to keep it up-to-date.
Life: so today was the day that Victoria Wood died. I loved her stuff - and she was so versatile too! It's quite incredible to think of all that she accomplished! It was lovely to see all the links popping up on Facebook and watch old favourites again. However, what got me were people saying "62's too young to die" as though there's some age limit to it! On a more positive note, I finished off my current portrait and I'm very happy with it. In fact, I'm very happy that each one is better than the previous one. Long may that continue! :)
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is finishing off my canvas. I'm really happy with my progress. :)

Tuesday, 19 April 2016

19th April 2016

Mia: haven't really seen anything of Mia today, so nothing to report.
College: so it was back to college today after our 2 week break. Incredible to think there's just 6 weeks left of this course now. However, I'm struggling with my FMP as I don't really know how to progress with it. It's like trudging through mud at the moment and I'm getting nowhere fast! :(
Life: after college I went into town to look for a rucksack for Berlin... and found one I liked in Primark! :) After that, I went to choir but very few people turned up this evening - perhaps having found something better to do in the sunshine??
One Thing: I'm choosing being back at college today. It was great to get back and see everyone. :)

Monday, 18 April 2016

18th April 2016

Mia: I don't blame Mia one bit if she is fed up of me tonight! I've scarcely paid her any attention at all today! :(
Life: I went to Birkenhead first thing, looking for a rucksack for Berlin. I didn't have any luck - all the designs I liked were kids sizes so I didn't think I'd be able to get them on my back! As I walked around, I could feel my thighs beginning to twinge but I carried on. I got the bus to New Brighton to see the new Jungle Book movie, which was excellent! I was very impressed with it - and the original Disney cartoon is one of my fave movies ever! So it's not like I was easily pleased! However, when I got up to leave, I realised my legs had really tensed up and so had great difficulty walking! Regardless, I thought it might be something that just needed walking off so I walked up the hill a little bit to the next stop but it was no good! They were still stiff! So I cried off yoga, caught the bus and made it home for tea, fed myself and Mia (which she turned her nose up at!) and have spent the rest of the evening online shopping for a rucksack but it has been a complete waste of time because, again, all I found that I really liked was kids ones! :( So, anyway, I've just come to bed and as well as my legs being stiff my feet must've swollen up because I really struggled to get my boots off! :(
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is watching the Jungle Book movie. It really was very good! :)

Sunday, 17 April 2016

17th April 2016

Mia: there was no sign of Mia this morning. So I put her breakfast out and went for my shower. Once I was up and ready, I come down for breakfast and her food was gone but still no sign of Mia. I eventually saw Mia about 10 minutes before I had to catch the bus to Southport! When I got home, I gave her her supper and the rest of the evening she has sat at my feet sleeping. Stop press: she has just come up and curled up on my lap for a cuddle as I'm typing this! :)
Life: so I caught the bus to Southport today to see Jayne and Sarah. The trip there took approx 2 hours but I enjoyed the ride; having the opportunity to see the scenery on a leisurely drive. :) So, anyway, I called in on Jayne and Sarah and spent a very pleasant afternoon with them and was even treated to lunch at a nearby pub. I had a hanging haloumi kebab. It was very tasty! :) At about 7pm I caught the bus home. :)
One Thing: obviously, it's Jayne and Sarah today. I am blessed with some lovely friends and they don't come much lovelier than these two! :)

Saturday, 16 April 2016

16th April 2016

Mia: I arrived home this afternoon in a foul mood only to be greeted by Mia jumping over the fence to greet me. That soon put a smile on my face! :)
Life: this morning I worked some more on my current portrait and was very pleased with it. It just needs the last few additions and then it shall be done. :) I then caught the bus to Liverpool for Gather The Women. Unfortunately, as I waited, I realised I didn't want to be around people today but bared with it because I expected to be in a safe place in circle once more. Sadly, it didn't turn out that way. Instead, I was gutted to discover GTW is no longer going to continue in its previous form and it took considerable effort not to walk out at several points during the meeting. But I stuck with it because of what happened at the beginning of the month with InTrust and didn't want to disrespect the people who I think a great deal of. But I was still upset when I left, so I stopped at Patisserie Valerie for a cream tea to cheer myself up... except that was shite too! So, as I said, I arrived back home in a foul mood. After feeding myself and Mia, I watched a film called Look Who's Back. The premise sounded interesting: Hitler comes back from the grave in modern day Germany and the public think he's a comedian but I didn't expect it to be as brilliant as it was! Parts of it were absolutely sublime! :) I intend to buy it on DVD at some point and may even buy the book (even though I don't read any more!).
One Thing: Mia is still the best thing in my life. I wish I had some of her enthusiasm for life sometimes! She seems to take almost everything in her stride! :)

Friday, 15 April 2016

15th April 2016

Mia: I'm not at all convinced any more that Mia is a cat. Not only does she turn her nose up at catnip, this evening she turned her nose up at the plate of fish I gave her as a special treat! More research is needed. I think I will start by offering her a bone to gnaw on and work from there.
Life: this morning I did the weekly food shop. I only needed a few bits do it was a quick trip. I then waited in for the man to come see about my gutters as they're leaking. He reckons other than replacing them entirely - which he dissuaded me from doing - the only thing he said he could do was give them a good clean out and reseal them. So that's what I'm gonna have done. After that, I hot-footed it to BLS studio to join the choir in a singsong. However, they started an hour earlier than I thought and so I only got there for the last 10 minutes, which rather deflated me. :( This evening I've been watching Netflix and abhorrent videos on YouTube.
One Thing: once again, Mia's been the best thing about my day. She does amuse me! :)

Wednesday, 13 April 2016

13th April 2016

Mia: the day started with cuddles but she didn't want to know me this evening. Perhaps me being out most of the day offended her??
Life: today was haircut day. She didn't do it weird like last time - it looks pretty smart - but I'm hoping it won't be quite as short as it looks once I've washed it. She is a very good hairdresser though because the style lasts and people still ask me if I've had it done months after it was cut! :) then I went into Liscard and got my eyebrows waxed for the first time in months! :) After that, I met up with Ali and was treated to lunch at The Willow Tree cafe in Liscard. I'd not seen Ali since Christmas, so it was great to catch-up again! And be treated to lunch into the bargain! :) I then caught the bus to Liverpool to meet up with Kirsteen - who, again, I hadn't seen since Christmas. So, again, it was great to catch-up! :) - and it looks like I might be volunteering for WHISC one afternoon a week quite soon. :) I then went to the nearby 'world cuisine supermarkets' to get a few more exotic ingredients for my vegetarian lifestyle like chickpea flour and paneer before returning to WHISC and then Kirsteen very kindly gave me a lift home. :) This evening I 'watched' Netflix whilst I planned my activities for LightNight and WowFest. May is going to be a very busy month! :)
One Thing: catching up with Kirsteen and Ali was lovely and it was great to see them both so happy too! :)

Tuesday, 12 April 2016

12th April 2016

Mia: the day started with fun and games and ended with cuddles. Lovely day! :)
Life: I went into town this morning to post a letter and return junk mail (I've decided I'm returning all my junk mail to sender because I'm sick to death with it!), plus I also had a quick wander. This evening I went to choir and it was a really good turn out. Plus Julie brought a chocolate cake because it was her birthday, which was most generous of her. The cake was delicious! :) She gave me a lift home too and I gave her my present. I'm not sure what she made of the painting (as Clare says "it's all just a layer" - she can paint over it if she doesn't like it!) but she seemed to really like the book I got her. :) The rest of the day was spent watching Netflix and Amazon. I watched Wag The Dog which is a biting political satire and Hitler: The Rise Of Evil, which put me in mind of Trump. I'm not saying Trump is the next Hitler but there's no doubt he's harnessed hate in his campaign and once you've let hate out the bottle it's impossible to get it back in again! I worry where this will end - not well, I fear! Especially if, heaven help us, he becomes President! :(
One Thing: The one thing I'm choosing today is celebrating Julie's birthday. She's a lovely woman and so deserves the lovely things in life... like chocolate cake! :)

Monday, 11 April 2016

11th April 2016

Mia: I've played with Mia much of the day. She just didn't seem to get bored like usual. She brings such sunshine into my life! In fact I often sing "you are the sunshine of my life" to her - which she doesn't at all appreciate, the critic!
Life: other than playing with Mia, I also did a bit more on my current portrait. It's going to be of a bloke I saw on the bus a couple of weeks ago. I also went to yoga this evening. I'm not at all sure what good it's doing me but I enjoy it all the same (if "enjoy" is the right word for stretching bits of you in ways you didn't know possible!).
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is time well spent with Mia. :)

Sunday, 10 April 2016

10th April 2016

Mia: can't believe Mia was expecting more food as I came to bed! :D Since when did I feed her more than twice a day and at 10pm at night at that?!! Silly cat! :D
Life: had a pretty lazy day watching films and listening to music - the neighbour's Rod Stewart selection I'm not so keen on! - until...
College: at 3pm I started on the remaining pictures for my sketchbook and only just got finished at 10pm! But at least it's all done now and I can get on designing whatever it is I'm designing!
One Thing: Mia is such a lovely, sweet natured, patient cat! She is definitely the best thing in my life! I love her to death! :)

Saturday, 9 April 2016

9th April 2016

Mia: Mia has kept herself to herself again today.
Life: this morning I sorted out some paperwork and transferred all the stuff I wanted off my iPhone, ready for selling it. This afternoon I met up with Helen who I hadn't seen for almost a year. She had her son, Jack, with her who is a very personable chap and not at all bratty like some kids! It was a very pleasant afternoon. :) Then I went to exchange my iPhone for a HTC but neither Vodafone shop in Liverpool had any in stock. :( On the plus side - and much to my surprise - I discovered I own my iPhone outright now! I thought I was just paying rental on it! So, anyway, this evening I have been looking online to see what deals there are. I don't really understand how Vodafone work though, so I'm holding fire until I do. Also this evening I did the weekly shop and bought more stuff than usual as I've gone veggie again so had to buy new cuisine - things with exotic names like quinoa! Time will tell how long I stuck with it this time though!
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing is meeting up with Helen and Jack. It was lovely to see them again. :)

Friday, 8 April 2016

8th April 2016

Mia: the day started with fun and games and it ended with fun and games too! :) in between there was cuddles and much amusement when Mia tried to drink from the toilet! Obviously she prefers her water urine flavoured!
Life: this morning I went to start on my canvas when the doorbell rang and my Russian dolls were delivered. This was sufficient distraction to make me forget all about my canvas for the rest of the day! The dolls are a lot smaller than I imagined but I have already made a start on them with 2 coats of gesso. Next job is to design what's going on them. This evening I watched La Cage Aux Folles 2. It's not as good as the original but I didn't even know there was a sequel - let alone a trilogy! - until very recently. My favourite though is still The Birdcage for the performances of Robin Williams, Nathan Lane and Gene Hackman. :)
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is sorting through my paperwork. It's not the most pleasurable job in the world - which is why I only do it like once a year! - but it does give me peace of mind.

Thursday, 7 April 2016

7th April 2016

Mia: fun and games with Mia first thing. Then she took herself off to her bedroom and that was the last I saw of her until tea time! This evening we had more fun and games - except I managed to tread on her paw! And since then she's kept her distance. Don't blame her one bit!
College: I have spent the majority of the day cutting and sticking pictures into my sketchbook for my FMP - and I'm only half way through! :(
Life: today would've been John's 68th birthday. The last 3 years seem longer than what they actually are. It could easily be 10 times as long! I also started on a new canvas today - another portrait. John would be delighted I'm doing so much art these days! He always felt I was wasting my talent! There is so much about him I miss but his physical presence is what I miss most. Just to be able to touch him again: a hug, to hold his hand, tweak his nose, run my hands through his non-existent hair, to kiss... Is it really only 3 years?!! :(
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is fun and games with Mia. My big clunky feet n all!

Wednesday, 6 April 2016

6th April 2016

Mia: had a lovely cuddle with Mia when I got home this evening. This was on top of the kiss she gave me this morning. :) Then I went and ruined it by untangling her hair and she clawed at me! It was only a gentle stroke as if to say "don't do that please" - not at all violent. :)
Life: today I finished off my latest canvas. I am very happy with it. :) Then I went into Liverpool to meet up with Patricia to see High Rise at the cinema. It was an entertaining film but a bit nonsensical because, if something like that did happen, I don't think people would react like that - unless I'm missing something?? (Which I quite probably am) Afterwards we bought art materials - did I really spend £25 on markers for my colouring books?!! I think I might've lost my marbles at that point! - and then we went to Kasbah for tea. It was a lovely few hours with Patricia and my mood improved considerably as a result. :) Coming home, I was a bit nervous that I'd run into those kids again but I came in at the other end of my street and they were nowhere to be seen anyway. I'm sure I've not heard the last of them but if I can avoid it at this precise moment in time all the better.
One Thing: I'm choosing time spent with Patricia today. She is so easy to get on with and I really enjoyed myself. :)

Tuesday, 5 April 2016

5th April 2016

Mia: Mia has kept herself to herself again today.
College: this morning I scanned in and printed out some pages for contextual studies. Then I inked up my sketchbook for my FMP. All I have to do now is cut up 30 pages of images and stick them in it!
Life: this afternoon I went into Liverpool and bought some art materials. Then I went to choir. We got quite a few new members tonight but there were also quite a few regulars missing. :( It was nice to come home in the daylight though... until I walked up my street and a group of toerags tried to involve me in their game of cops and robbers. I was quite happy to ignore them until one little shit came up and called me a murderer to my face! Nice! And on the 3rd anniversary of becoming a widow too! Now all I can think about is where this will lead to and how to handle it. I honestly have no idea how to deal with unruly brats! But I won't hesitate to inform the police if I start to feel threatened. This has been a lovely area to live in until now! :(
One Thing: I'm choosing choir. It was nice to see new people there. :)

Monday, 4 April 2016

4th April 2016

Mia: what is there to say about Mia that I've not said before? Absolutely nothing...
Life: this morning I had the blues again. So, once I'd had my breakfast, I did my monthly accounts. I'm £500 down on what I had last month. :( This afternoon I went and had a massage with Nina. She really helped loosen up my neck and shoulders - it was wonderful! :) After that, I caught the bus into town for my yoga lesson. She was working on the groin today - I can't open my legs more than a foot apart! At the end we were doing yoga nidra (sp?) and I was breathing in the new and exhaling the old as instructed. Considering tomorrow is 3rd anniversary of John's death, it was rather emotional. Walking though town on the way to bus home though I thought that embracing the new was something I need to work on. At the bus stop, I was annoyed by 2 teenagers intent on pissing people off! Smoking drugs - not even nice smelling drugs! - and rocking the seat! I stank of whatever the fuck it was they were smoking and have had to stick all my clothes in the wash and have a shower! Plus I also have a headache!
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is my massage with Nina. It fair did the trick! Pity those teenagers then had to go and ruin my evening afterwards! :(

Sunday, 3 April 2016

3rd April 2016

Mia: Mia ate her breakfast today, so she got tea. She also got cuddles and playtime. I spoil that pussycat! :D
Life: it didn't take long this morning to get the blues again. Really, I have nothing to be depressed about - I have a home, food, luxuries and I'm in reasonable health. Sadly, though, it doesn't work like that. Anyway, I did some painting and playing with Mia cheered me up a bit. Then I went to 'Mad Pride' which turned out to be shit! Not that they promised anything they didn't deliver - just that it was in such a tiny venue they might as well have not bothered! There was not more than 100 people in there but you couldn't move! After I left, I saw some of the photos they posted on Facebook. All I'll say about that is that it was very creative photography! This evening I watched Amazon Prime whilst doing some colouring-in.
One Thing: I'm choosing my current painting today. I got quite a bit done on it today and I'm proud of what I've done. It makes me smile. :)

Saturday, 2 April 2016

2nd April 2016

Ever since I was young, I've been terrified of confrontations and have thus tended to not voice my opinions if I can possibly help it. Instead, if I do express them, I do it in writing - as I'm doing now. But there are still times when I'm not as honest as id like to be - and the end result is I hate myself for my cowardice.
Today has been a good example of that: I was at a Trans support group meeting, when a certain someone who I've not liked for many a year, started a conversation which basically boiled down to 'the right way to be Trans' which I hate with a passion! Even my good friends felt obliged to justify why they think the way they do - and I hate that as well!
Is it not enough for us to just exist?!! Why can we not just get on with our lives without feeling the need to justify ourselves and criticise others?!! (This applies to humanity as a whole - not just Trans people, of course)
So I was boiling up inside and wanting to scream but, as mentioned, I don't like confrontations so didn't want to cause a scene. So that triggered my fight or flight response and I got up and left (so much for not causing a scene!). I intended to just stand outside and calm down but my friend followed me, asking what was wrong which just made things worse and so I got in my car and drove away!
When I got home, I was sufficiently calm to feel bad about what I'd done. So I texted my friend to apologise and explain and then I arranged to come back and meet for tea. So that's what I did.
However, as we dined, I felt myself getting tired and emotional and was glad to get home.
April is not a good month for me: On the 5th it'll be 3 years since John died and the 7th would've been his 68th birthday.
The last 2 years I have taken myself away on holiday but this year, because of college, I haven't. I did look last week at disappearing this week to Glasgow - my favourite city in the UK - but baulked at the prices. I'm now thinking this was a mistake.
Yes, it is expensive - as much as my monthly income - but this last week or so I've been feeling highly sensitive around people. More so than in previous years, to be honest. Usually my worst months are Feb (when John was first taken into hospice) and August (our anniversary) but this year I breezed through February - and I've yet to get to August, of course.
Maybe, since I dont want to spend all that money going away, I should just stay indoors or something next week!
Mia: Mia has refused to eat her breakfast today but has still pestered me for food all day long! Contrary madam! But I did enjoy playing with her whilst I was painting - painting with one hand, playing with Mia with the other! :)
Life: other than the above, I finished off one painting and started on another today.
One Thing: I'm gonna choose playing with Mia. She's the best thing in my life - no contest! I'd be lost without her!

Friday, 1 April 2016

1st April 2016

Mia: more fun and cuddles with Mia - when she's not sulking I've not fed her that half hour!
Life: this morning I went to Morrisons to do the weekly shop. Except, when I got there, I realised I'd forgot the shopping list! So I returned home and then caught the bus to Birkenhead, had a wander over to the central library, didn't find what I wanted, caught bus to Liverpool, bought birthday presents, and caught the bus to Morrisons. Except I went to the Floral to buy theatre tickets, had tunch at the Seahorse and then did the shopping at Morrisons! Except I was a little tipsy on one pint of cider - I'm such a lightweight! - which meant a few items went in that weren't supposed to but at least I was too pissed to care! This evening I have listened to music whilst colouring-in and playing Angry Birds - who played an April Fool on me the rotten b...irds!
One Thing: having unlimited travel on my student bus pass certainly made for an interesting day! :)