Sunday, 20 December 2015

20th December 2015

Love: I believe it is a truth that all of us hold love within us. However, instead of looking within us to find the love we contain, we look outside of us for things to love. What is even worse are the people who tell us our love is wrong and that love can only be possible if we do it their way. All this is distraction. We should ignore it but rarely do we do that. :(
Life: I have spent much of the day asleep. I think it was 3 months lack of a good night's sleep catching up with me. However, I got myself together to go to St Brides Christmas service. It was my second year of going. It was very good again. I don't consider myself a Christian by any means but, if I'm going to celebrate Christmas, I feel I ought to at least observe the Christianity of it! Anyway, tonight's service had a theme of 'a light in the darkness'. It started with the observation that although we may find light in the darkness, we never find darkness in light which I thought was rather profound! The minister then talked about how our current western society is so full of light - via electricity - the mystery and effect of light in our world has been drowned out, thus we are blinded! However, the bit that resonated with me most strongly was the fear of light - how many of us shrink from the light in fear of where that light will lead. I certainly am one of them. I don't like being in the spotlight - I fear the expectation to shine! I also tend to ignore the light that is my spirituality for fear of being lead astray. As much as I'm wary of Christianity, I was raised a Christian and, like it or not, it is part of my spirituality. However, I am wary of Christianity because it has lead me to hate - most of all to hate myself. Thus I fear it. What does it say about a religion that I fear being corrupted by it?!! And, yet, I can't ignore it. However, tonight I had a tiny revelation - what I'm attracted to is the light/goodness/love. But I don't need to go to church or be part of the Christian faith to feel that. I have felt it just as strongly at Big Love Sista... and, thinking on it, that is what I've missed most these last 3 months since I started college - my dose of spirituality courtesy of BLS. So, recognising this, I recognise I need to make more effort than ever to not deprive myself of it. I need that light in my life so that I don't wander in darkness. And, talking about light, what is it that our government's doing but making life darker for people! It doesn't take much imagination to work out why the powers that be want the general population to dwell in darkness! This government are dangerous and it needs to be removed asap!
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is catching up on my sleep. I feel much better for it. :)