I have just been reading an article on "gay cures" which, like many times before, has left me asking "Why?".
I just don't get it! Homosexuality isn't a disease or an ailment so how can it be cured?
I simply don't know the answer to this but there are those who claim they do. They point to success stories - of which they may even be one themselves - and claim that they are "ex-gay" and are now back on the straight and narrow, living as heterosexuals.
Well, I'm afraid I simply don't believe them... especially when you dig a little deeper and find that they haven't been 'cured' of their sexual feelings but have instead learned to refrain from acting upon them.
Well, anyone can do that! Anyone can say, "I think this wrong so I shan't do it!" So why can't they be honest about it? Why do they have to resort to propaganda that portrays homosexuality as something that needs a cure?
After all, homosexuality is, as the name might suggest, a sexuality and no matter what variant it is - whether it be asexuality, bisexuality, homosexuality, pansexuality or heterosexuality - sexuality is common to everyone. So to claim that only one variation is "natural" beggars belief!
No, what "gay-cures" really amount to is a belief structure based on fantasy and I'm afraid that is a recipe for disappointment at the very least... and courses in brainwashing and electroshock treatment for the less fortunate!
So, please, there is no Peter Pan waiting to whisk us off to Neverland or tooth fairies lying in wait at the bottom of our beds waiting to swap our teeth for 50p (or whatever the going rate is these days!) or Santa Claus or Easter Bunny or Tony Blair... OK, maybe Tony Blair does exist but what is for certain is that homosexuality isn't "unnatural" or the work of The Devil!
And, just like these childhood fantasies, the easiest, quickest and safest way to rid yourself of these fantastical delusions is to stop believing in them!
Then, when you have grasped reality, you will see that the way to rid yourself of your discomfort is not to enrol in some quack course that reinforces it!
Showing posts with label homophobia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label homophobia. Show all posts
Sunday, 15 April 2012
Wednesday, 21 March 2012
Lucky
Today I watched Prayers For Bobby which, for those that don't know, is a film about a religious mother's relationship with her gay son.
Parts of the film reminded me of my own upbringing, hearing some of the things my parents said about gay men (not that I ever had them quote The Bible at me!) and how their views influenced mine. So when my sexual awakening happened I had a very hard time coming to terms with it and believed my parents would stop loving me.
However, when I told them about my sexuality (and later my gender identity), I found their views were paper thin and that they certainly did not think that I was any of the labels I'd heard them apply to others like myself.
In fact, far from stop loving me, my mother told me, "We love you unconditionally. You will always be our child". Those words mean more to me than any other present my parents ever bought me (and, believe me, they did spoil me rotten!). So, all in all, I consider myself lucky.
But, sadly, a friend of mine isn't so lucky.
When she told her parents she was a transsexual her parents blew a fuse. They told her they were ashamed of her and that they'd "rather have a criminal in the family than a transsexual". But the hatred did not stop at name calling. They have also physically restrained and detained her, blackmailed her and physically abused her.
And, you know, people go on about how being trans is a choice. Well, even if I did believe that was true (which I don't), what is also a choice is how you react to someone you don't like. And I would say my friend's family have chosen to react to her being a transsexual in the worst way possible.
They didn't have to be so cruel and spiteful, acting on their worst human instincts. They could've chosen a whole host of other options open to them. And I believe there is only word that I think applies to choosing to be so full of cruelty and hatred and that word is "evil". To seek to destroy the life of someone else - especially when it's your own child - is evil.
I am not sure how you come to terms with that. How do you come to terms with knowing that your family wants to destroy your life? That your parents who brought you into this world, who, like my parents, should love you unconditionally, hate you so much that they want to destroy the life you worked so very hard for. How do you come to terms with that?
So, as her friend, I am full of admiration for the fact she's faced this with such dignity, such love and a belief in the future that borders on the eternally optimistic.
But I'm afraid I haven't an ounce of her mental strength, so I can not emotionally deal with her magnanimity and I have had to become detached. That in itself pains me and it certainly does not stop me worrying about her.
So, yes, I do consider myself very lucky to have been born into my family. I know how much worse it could've been and only wish everyone - especially my friend - was as lucky.
Parts of the film reminded me of my own upbringing, hearing some of the things my parents said about gay men (not that I ever had them quote The Bible at me!) and how their views influenced mine. So when my sexual awakening happened I had a very hard time coming to terms with it and believed my parents would stop loving me.
However, when I told them about my sexuality (and later my gender identity), I found their views were paper thin and that they certainly did not think that I was any of the labels I'd heard them apply to others like myself.
In fact, far from stop loving me, my mother told me, "We love you unconditionally. You will always be our child". Those words mean more to me than any other present my parents ever bought me (and, believe me, they did spoil me rotten!). So, all in all, I consider myself lucky.
But, sadly, a friend of mine isn't so lucky.
When she told her parents she was a transsexual her parents blew a fuse. They told her they were ashamed of her and that they'd "rather have a criminal in the family than a transsexual". But the hatred did not stop at name calling. They have also physically restrained and detained her, blackmailed her and physically abused her.
And, you know, people go on about how being trans is a choice. Well, even if I did believe that was true (which I don't), what is also a choice is how you react to someone you don't like. And I would say my friend's family have chosen to react to her being a transsexual in the worst way possible.
They didn't have to be so cruel and spiteful, acting on their worst human instincts. They could've chosen a whole host of other options open to them. And I believe there is only word that I think applies to choosing to be so full of cruelty and hatred and that word is "evil". To seek to destroy the life of someone else - especially when it's your own child - is evil.
I am not sure how you come to terms with that. How do you come to terms with knowing that your family wants to destroy your life? That your parents who brought you into this world, who, like my parents, should love you unconditionally, hate you so much that they want to destroy the life you worked so very hard for. How do you come to terms with that?
So, as her friend, I am full of admiration for the fact she's faced this with such dignity, such love and a belief in the future that borders on the eternally optimistic.
But I'm afraid I haven't an ounce of her mental strength, so I can not emotionally deal with her magnanimity and I have had to become detached. That in itself pains me and it certainly does not stop me worrying about her.
So, yes, I do consider myself very lucky to have been born into my family. I know how much worse it could've been and only wish everyone - especially my friend - was as lucky.
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