Preston Passion

This morning I watched Preston Passion on the BBC.
For those that don't know, this was an event based in Preston put on by the BBC which commemorated (if that is the right word) the Crucifixion of Christ.
I tuned in primarily to see if I could spot any of my friends from The Salvation Army (I didn't) but found myself enjoying it for several other reasons.
One of these was seeing bits of Preston I know quite well on the television which, oddly enough, made me feel quite proud of my adopted city. It felt like that this grim old city, that has done me little favour, had arrived at the big time because it was on the big screen (our tv is 42" you know!).
Another reason why I enjoyed it was that, despite it's ham fisted delivery, I found the program quite emotional and it presented me with two subjects for further thought that I would like to dwell on now...
The first of these is

Who would you make the ultimate sacrifice for?

to which my answer is "Anyone I care for".
I don't know about anyone else, but to me that doesn't seem extraordinary. If it came down to saving the life of a friend, a family member or my husband at the expense of mine then, yes, why wouldn't I sacrifice mine for theirs?
The other subject that I'd like to ruminate on is

Why can't Christianity always be like this?

The program presented Christianity as being a source for solace and love and it struck me, as it had before, that perhaps the biggest drawback of Christianity is The Bible.
The Bible, as one might expect of a book with many authors, is full of many contrasting and contradictory accounts.
For a start, at least half The Bible - The Old Testament - was written before the time of Christ and the other half was purportedly written long after the time of Christ! So my mind can't help but wonder just how "Christian" The Bible actually is!
However, to many people, to be Christian means to be a believer in The Bible... and even more so, to many Christians The Bible is "The word of God" and therefore irrefutable.
So it is not a surprise to me that there is an inherrent conflict that many Christians have to deal with.
On the one hand there is the life of Christ who, if we believe what is written, lived a life loving and caring for his fellow man.
Then, on the other hand, there are many admonishments against a sinful lifestyle that have been used to justify homophobia, transphobia, sexism and racism (amongst other things!) which nowadays seem at odds to Christ's message of loving and caring for your fellow man.
So, to many modern minds, Christianity appears to be a religion of hatred and intolerance and - when you can not detect the presence of either God or Jesus in your life anyway - it seems pretty obvious why Christian churches no longer attract the congregations they once did.
However, if Christianity presented itself more along the lines of Preston Passion more often then I believe the experience would be much more rewarding.
You don't need to believe in Christ to see that Christ's values are the best way to live our lives!
However, as far as the Christian Church is concerned, perhaps that is the problem! Perhaps they reason that, without the need to believe in Christ, there is no reason for anyone to bother with the Church!
So, in answer to my question, perhaps the reason why Christianity isn't always like the Preston Passion is because it's too scared to be - it lacks faith in "The power of Christ" to attract people.
However, to go in the direction they have - where they have sidelined Christ's teachings in favour of cruel admonisments in The Bible - only exacerbates the problem. For whilst Christ's teachings attract people, their sermons drive them away.
As a result of which, the ideology of Christ - which I truly believe would better mankind (despite not believing in his divinity) - is getting forgotten. And on this I can join in with the Churches and declare that this will be to the ruination of mankind.

Everything Is Temporary

One morning whilst volunteering at The Salvation Army, one of the learners asked how the job hunting was going.
I replied that it was just as frustrating as ever.
To which she replied, "Don't worry. Everything is temporary. Nothing lasts forever".
And, reflecting on the events of this weekend, I can see the change that has happened and the change that is about to happen and I can see that, yes, indeed, nothing lasts forever.
Once upon a time I hid who I was from my family. Now I don't and I have been repaid for my honesty in spades!
For example, where once I felt distant from my mum, now I feel closer because I can talk about clothes with her in a way I never could as a teenager! And the fact that my mum feels able to give me her opinion on my fashion mistakes is worth it's weight in gold to me!
And sharing "quality time" with my brother and my niece and nephew, as I have this weekend, is beyond superlatives! Especially as I used to think he wasn't so keen to have me in their lives! But this evening I received a text from my brother - which in itself is a rarity! - that removed all doubt from my mind!
So, yes, things are only temporary - much progress has been made since the "bad old days" - but, things being temporary, progress never stops.
So, as I got nearer to home, reality began to creep back in - making the happy times of the weekend fade away to be replaced with the doubts and worries I have with being unemployed.
And, also, the reason why I was visiting my brother and his family this weekend was because he's due to move abroad very soon. So this may very well be the last "quality time" I share with them for some considerable time!
So I have reason to be a little downhearted tonight.
But surely, if I reflect on my life, I can see that, just as bad comes of good, good comes of bad as well!
And, whilst it's perfectly reasonable to be depressed when you're experiencing the bad, one should also reflect that the bad times won't last forever and look forward to the good times.

A Very Real Horror Story

Consider the scenario - you are the mother of an infant who, despite being born male, wants to act and dress like a girl. You are scared for them because you know tolerance of such behaviour is scarce. But you can see that your child is miserable being male and so you allow them to express their femininity at home but under no circumstances must they do it outside!
Years roll by and your child is still miserable having to pretend to be male. It breaks your heart to see them come home in tears for being forced to be a boy at school all day! But you know that if your child goes out dressed as a girl they will be subjected to ridicule and much much worse. What on earth do you do?!!
On the one hand you can't bear to see your child in pain but on the other hand you're scared of the pain that will be brought to bear on your child should the truth be known. If there ever was a case of 'Stuck between a rock and a hard place' this is surely it!
Well, one mother looked at her morals and recognised that it was wrong for her child to live in fear and so she made the incredibly difficult decision to allow her child to live as a girl full time.
But there was no way she was gonna just throw her child - her daughter - to the lions and so she made provision as best she could and contacted the school to inform them of the impending transition. The school then, quite rightly, made the announcement in assembly that a former male pupil would be attending as a female pupil.
However, you can never underestimate the depths to which people will sink, and this is when what had already been an incredibly difficult journey became a living nightmare.
The mother's daughter was called a "freak" and a "tart" to her face not by her peers but by the PARENTS of them!
What a fine example to teach your children! Fuck love, tolerance or even just minding your own fucking business!! No, HATE is what makes the world goes round!
But hate was not enough for these warped individuals, they had to add SPITE to the mix as well! So fuck the family's right to privacy! Inform the press everything they could possibly ever want to know about this "freak" and her "freak family"!
And did the press think, "No, this is a TEN YEAR OLD CHILD! It is totally wrong to expose them in the press"? Did they fuck!! Like any business, the press need to sell their products and here was a story guaranteed to make a quick buck for them!
So GREED was added to hate and spite and the family found their local nightmare had turned into an international nightmare!
At which point the mother realised any hope that her child would have a life like - or even maybe just a little bit similar to - any other ten year old was lying in tatters.
What is more - with the hate, spite and greed now gone international - her child's life was in very real danger! There was no putting the cork back into the bottle now! What on earth was she to do?!!
Well, first things first, get the police involved. But then a realisation dawned on her - maybe all this attention could be turned from causing harm to her daughter to, instead, protecting her and children like her. After all, it's far more off putting to consider harming a child when you know the whole world's attention is focused on that child!
So, believing, as she already did, that her child should not hide away in fear, she decided to go public and put across her side of the story about her daughter and her family.
But the public is a very hard beast to please because, in some twisted kind of irony, the mother then found herself criticised for going public! The public clearly felt, as the mother had, that she and her daughter were entitled to some form of privacy! Talk about "Damned if you do and damned if you don't"!
So you could forgive the mother if she was bitter. After all, she had found herself confronted with the incredibly difficult situation of her child being transgender and then criticised for every which way she tried to handle it.
But this mother is not bitter. She believes, despite her child being taught about HATE, SPITE, GREED and FEAR at a very young age, the most valuable lesson she can teach her daughter is LOVE.
And that is what you will see when you encounter Livvy James and her mother. You will see a very bright, tender, girl and a passionate, loving, mother. They are beacons of hope that love will win out in this unbelievably cruel world.
But, I have a warning for you, that beacon is of limited use if we don't pick up it's message and pass it on.
For, as sure as eggs is eggs, Livvy James and her mother are not of infinite public interest - they will become old news very soon. So, if we want to make a difference, then WE have to make a difference!
The evil in this world won't shrink away just because of Livvy James but it might - it just might - if we all stand beside her and champion what we know to be right.

What Maketh Us Free?

Without doubt, one of the biggest barriers to accepting myself as a transsexual was having a misconception of what a transsexual was.
I would compare myself to this notion and come to the conclusion that I couldn't possibly be a transsexual because I didn't fit my concept of what a transsexual was.
If I had done some research I would have discovered a whole lot earlier that transsexuals aren't a one-size-fits-all species!
Being a transsexual does not define your sexuality, the way you want to look, or even whether or not you want to have surgery to correct your sexual organs!
The only one true definition of a transsexual is someone who identifies as the opposite gender to that which they were recognised at birth.
So being transsexual doesn't even define what gender you are - the idea that transsexual = "cock in a frock" is a total myth! Transsexuals can be both male AND female!
But research isn't only useful in defining your gender, it's useful in every aspect of your life.
For example, when I get an invite to a job interview, I research the company I am hoping to be employed by. Doing so helps me tailor my interview presentation to fit in with what I believe the company is looking for and so, logically, improve my chances of landing the job.
Research even helps me when I am buying the groceries. I look around the kitchen and see what I require, write myself a list and then refer to that list when I am in the supermarket. Doing so helps me to avoid buying things I don't need and thus save myself money.
So I find research incredibly useful and there's only one thing I can guarantee if I don't do my research - I remain ignorant.
Although ignorance is useful sometimes - there is a danger of knowing too much - in most cases ignorance leads to you looking foolish. So, when it came to putting together an image that I hoped would look sufficiently feminine for me to be understood as female, I made damn sure I did my research!
I didn't just assume that all women wore make-up, high heels and dresses. I recalled the fact that my own mother very rarely wears any of those things!
Neither did I assume that my mother was a typical woman. I did my research and realised that there is no such thing as a typical woman!
The result of which was that I had a blank canvas with which to work with.
I could wear make-up if I wished but I could just as easily decide not to wear make-up. Make-up does not maketh the woman!
I could wear heels if I wished but I could just as easily decide not to wear heels (which is jolly fortunate considering my feet!) as heels don't maketh the woman either!
I could wear dresses if I wished but I could just as easily decide to wear separates or jeans and a t-shirt or even a suit if I so wished! Because clothes don't maketh the woman either!
And on and on and on...
So what I was left with was the freedom to decide what I wanted to wear - which is what I have wanted my entire life! - but without the research, I could never have come to this realisation.
So, as I say, research always pays off.
Or, to put it another way, having a questioning mind liberates us - whereas having a closed mind imprisons us.
It's shameful then that we are often encouraged to have the latter.

We Do Need Some Education

Yesterday my attention was brought to a blogger who has made it her mission to

use every legal measure to keep off transsexual people from having equal rights.

Sadly, her grasp of the law isn't very great as she has been collecting the private information of people she doesn't like and outing them. If this wasn't bad enough, she has also been inciting hatred and murder which, as I understand it, has indeed lead to the murder of at least one person.
However, I will not name this blogger as I don't believe, when someone deliberately sets out to offend and publicly shares her email address to receive the offence she has caused, we should pander to that person's cravings. So, for the purposes of the rest of this post, I shall simply refer to this blogger as Mildred.
However, I do believe Mildred is sharing some very badly informed opinions which perhaps highlight a wider problem of education about the "LGB&T community" and so I shall endeavour to correct that miseducation...

1. Facts are indisputable - opinions are not. For example, it is a fact that homosexuality is the sexual attraction between people of the same sex. But it is a matter of opinion that homosexuality is in any way wrong or immoral. Thus Mildred is entirely wrong to state

you can’t change the facts: that homosexuality is abnormal and disgusting.

as those aren't the facts. They are opinions. As such, they are quite open to dispute and so I feel quite comfortable saying that I think she is wrong. I think homosexuality is lovely!

2. For the vast majority of my life I have had great difficulty coming to terms with my gender identity because I believed transsexuals to be freakish and an abomination. Society has had no small part in helping me formulate that opinion and thus I see absolutely no need for Mildred (or anyone else) to tell me (or any other transsexual) to

Stop trying to pretend to be “better” than others because you consider yourself “transsexual”.

because it simply is not the case.

3. Human rights are entitlements that ALL humans have. And the good news is that no one needs to fight for them because we ALL have them - we are ALL entitled to the same things. What is even better is that human rights AREN'T finite - if I have a human right, then that same human right is there for you as well.
So Mildred is quite wrong to state

There isn’t an endless amount of human rights available, we have to deploy our resources carefully and wisely.

But is correct to say we have to handle them carefully and wisely because, if we were reckless and somehow destroyed a human right, it affects EVERYBODY and, personally, I think it's better to have as many human rights as possible.

4. Equal rights are entitlements that we all have EQUALLY (the clue's in the name). So, again, Mildred is misguided if she thinks she can

keep off transsexual people from having equal rights.

because if I don't have equal rights then NO ONE has equal rights. That is how equality works!

5. Whilst it is the case that the differences in sexual orientation aren't universally acceptable to every society it is not the case that they are not acceptable to any society. So Mildred is wrong to state

It is unbelievable how you, the LGBTQ people think that your sexual orientation could ever be socially accepted.

because it is very believable that where a large number of gay people live (e.g. Brighton), not being heterosexual is going to be socially acceptable! In fact, in my experience, I wouldn't even state that one needs to have a large gay population for that to happen. Also, being trans (the T of LGBTQ) has no bearing on your sexuality and thus a trans person could have any kind of sexual orientation! So to think every sexual orientation is universally excluded from social acceptance everywhere is almost certainly somewhat misjudged.

6. Believe it or not, a transsexual can be any one of the sexual orientations available. Thus to assume that a trans person is automatically non-heterosexual is wrong. So for Mildred to state

As soon as scientists will find the “transsexual gene”, there won’t be any transsexual babies anymore in this world. Then we can get rid of the LGBTQ peverts from the very beginning.

is not only offensive but also inaccurate.
Even if scientists find a "transsexual gene" and decide to use it to kill all the transsexual babies in this world, it could only rid the world of the T "peverts" - the LGBQ "peverts" would be no more affected than the S (straight) "peverts"!

7. Being LGBT or Q is not a choice. If it were, I would wager a good many would choose not to be LGBT or Q rather than face the prejudice, terror and/or murder for being seen as "abnormal". So, as much as anyone might desire it, it is impossible for them to

become normal immediately.

8. Since being LGBT or Q can lead to you being subjected to prejudice, terror and/or murder, a good many think it wise to blend in to society rather than being identified as LGBT or Q. Thus I have to differ with Mildred when she states

everybody is trying to stand out

Whatever she's seen on the telly, being LGBT or Q isn't like being on The X Factor!

9. Being LGBT or Q doesn't automatically make you a bad parent. Although I'm not a parent myself, I think it's commonly held that being a bad parent involves rewarding the worst aspects of your child's nature (such as hatred and violence) or, worse still, neglecting or killing them. So when Mildred directs

I hope you will never have kids. Because you would mess them up.

at a LGBT or Q person, I can only return the sentiment in kind. For, to me, she is the worst kind of person a child could ever possibly hope to have as a parent!

10. Kindness will always be seen as more virtuous than cruelty. So wishing neglect and death on someone will always come bottom of valued human qualities. And thus it is so with the sentiment Mildred expresses when she writes

And because only 10% of all people are LGBTQ, we can abandon them. The world population is already large enough, why should we keep the gays alive?

To my mind that kind of sentiment is the epitome of inhumanity. If Mildred wishes to be inhuman then she should distance herself from humanity not write lengthy blog posts that portray a poorly educated woman with the very worst of opinions.

Lucky

Today I watched Prayers For Bobby which, for those that don't know, is a film about a religious mother's relationship with her gay son.
Parts of the film reminded me of my own upbringing, hearing some of the things my parents said about gay men (not that I ever had them quote The Bible at me!) and how their views influenced mine. So when my sexual awakening happened I had a very hard time coming to terms with it and believed my parents would stop loving me.
However, when I told them about my sexuality (and later my gender identity), I found their views were paper thin and that they certainly did not think that I was any of the labels I'd heard them apply to others like myself.
In fact, far from stop loving me, my mother told me, "We love you unconditionally. You will always be our child". Those words mean more to me than any other present my parents ever bought me (and, believe me, they did spoil me rotten!). So, all in all, I consider myself lucky.
But, sadly, a friend of mine isn't so lucky.
When she told her parents she was a transsexual her parents blew a fuse. They told her they were ashamed of her and that they'd "rather have a criminal in the family than a transsexual". But the hatred did not stop at name calling. They have also physically restrained and detained her, blackmailed her and physically abused her.
And, you know, people go on about how being trans is a choice. Well, even if I did believe that was true (which I don't), what is also a choice is how you react to someone you don't like. And I would say my friend's family have chosen to react to her being a transsexual in the worst way possible.
They didn't have to be so cruel and spiteful, acting on their worst human instincts. They could've chosen a whole host of other options open to them. And I believe there is only word that I think applies to choosing to be so full of cruelty and hatred and that word is "evil". To seek to destroy the life of someone else - especially when it's your own child - is evil.
I am not sure how you come to terms with that. How do you come to terms with knowing that your family wants to destroy your life? That your parents who brought you into this world, who, like my parents, should love you unconditionally, hate you so much that they want to destroy the life you worked so very hard for. How do you come to terms with that?
So, as her friend, I am full of admiration for the fact she's faced this with such dignity, such love and a belief in the future that borders on the eternally optimistic.
But I'm afraid I haven't an ounce of her mental strength, so I can not emotionally deal with her magnanimity and I have had to become detached. That in itself pains me and it certainly does not stop me worrying about her.
So, yes, I do consider myself very lucky to have been born into my family. I know how much worse it could've been and only wish everyone - especially my friend - was as lucky.

Coming Out

I want to tell you that, ever since coming out of the closet, far from having mobs at my doorstep, my husband throwing me out, my family disowning me, my employer sacking me, and the whole world turning against me, absolutely everyone, without exception, has welcomed me with open arms!
I want to tell you that but it would be a fairytale and, as we all know, life isn't a fairytale. The reality of my life is a little more complex.
So, whilst it's true I've not had mobs at my doorstep, my husband throw me out, my family disown me, my employer sack me, or the whole world turn against me it is not the case that absolutely everyone, without exception, has welcomed me with open arms.
For example, my dad didn't know whether to call me "Him", "Her" or "It" for a while; amongst the first words my husband told me when I told him I wanted to transition were, "If you take hormones, I will have to reconsider things"; my employer did make me redundant but it had nothing to do with me being trans; and some people in this world did turn against me - I've been shoulder barged in Debenham's, I've had people shout things at me in the street, and I've had people sneer at me as soon as they noticed I was trans.
But these have been transitory things. The only constant is that I have been happier since I stopped hiding the fact I'm a transsexual.
And, yes, OK, I still find much in life to depress me but nothing compares to the depression that self-loathing and shame brings!
So, if you find yourself hating yourself and being ashamed of yourself, then I would encourage you to do what it takes to rid yourself of those feelings.
For me, the first major step towards that was coming out of the closet. Saying, "I am what I am" and daring people to like and love me regardless.
But I can't help thinking it would've been better if I'd not had to come out at all.
That instead of feeling it necessary to hide away "in the closet", I should've felt that my gender identity and sexuality had no bearing on my worth as a person. After all, my gender identity and sexuality are not things that should ever have been open to negotiation!
But I feel society's attitude towards these matters will not change for as long as society remains unchallenged and uneducated.
And I believe it's my job to do just that.
It is no good hiding away "in the closet" hoping the world will change around me! How can I ever hope the world will treat me differently if I don't tell them what they're doing wrong!
So, in conclusion, perhaps a better way of looking at this is that coming out isn't so much about being "loud and proud" as it is about taking responsibility for your own happiness and how you are treated.

God's First Day Back At Work

When I look at the actions of some Christians I often wonder what their God would make of them. Not that I believe God - as popularly defined - exists but, if He did, I imagine He'd have something like this to say...

Dearest humans,
This is God speaking. Yup, I'm back! And, boy, was Peter right or what! He said I shouldn't go on holiday and, boy, was he right!
But, after several millennia on the job, I really needed the break! I mean, you guys let people retire after 65 years and, yet, you wanted me to work indefinitely! I couldn't even take a toilet break without one of you bleating at me, "God, if I promise to be nice, will you save my granny from Cancer?". Me, the God who made you, reduced to the ranks of a performing monkey! Talk about ingratitude!
Yeah, so anyway, I'm back! And what do I find? A load of douche bags claiming to speak on my behalf! I'm sorry, but just when did you form the impression I was mute and needed someone to speak for me?!!
I'm the God that made Noah build an arc and killed your enemy's first born for Pete's sake! I'm the one who set fire to a bush and begat a son with a virgin just so you could hear my voice! And what? You think I'd use some old git in a funny hat to speak for me? I might just as well've used Zippo's Circus!
And, speaking of The Pope, he has a nerve! I know he rang my phone number, so he must've heard the answer message telling him I'd get back to him. And, OK, maybe I lost track of the time and a fortnight's holiday turned into a couple of thousand years but, trust me, a couple thousand years is a mere blink of the eye when you've been around as long as I have! But that gives him no right to take matters into his own hands! He's meant to be my representative not my replacement!!
And that doesn't give the rest of you an excuse either! For Pete's sake, I left you an operation manual to refer to whilst I was away! Surely you could've compared that against what The Pope and the Archbishops and all the rest of them were saying and worked out two and two were making five!
So, yeah, OK, maybe some of The Bible's not as good as it could've been but it was done in a hurry and I know I shouldn't have let the YTS apprentice do a bit either but I was in a generous mood. How was I supposed to know that'd be the bit you'd concentrate most on! I thought you'd concentrate on all the good bits! You know, "Love thy neighbour", and all that! Not "Lie ye not with another man as with a woman" and all the rest of that mumbo jumbo! Most of it doesn't even make sense!
And, whilst I'm at it, I am thoroughly pissed off with you all ruining all my hard work! You seem to have forgotten that I am your creator!
Every single thing you see before you is mine! So how dare you destroy it! I made you the custodians of Earth for a reason! But you, you're like a zoo keeper who not only kills all his animals but all his work mates too!
And why? Cos you think you're special! Do you know what special means? It means "valuable"! And just how "valuable" do you think someone who's intent on destroying everything I worked so hard to create is to me! You're not "valuable"! You're scum! You're not even fit to wipe the arse of Satan!
So, right now, I see a great big mess to sort out! A great big mess that YOU created! And I'm wondering whether it wouldn't just be a good idea to get rid of the cause of that mess!
So trust me, humans, your cards are well and truly marked! So you'd better play ball or you'll be getting more than your P45 in the post!

Glorious

Ever since I got interested in pop music at around 7 or 8 years old, I've wanted to be a pop star.
I would watch Adam Ant, Shakin' Stevens, Boy George and the rest and wanted to be just like them.
I wanted others to feel the same way about me as I felt about my idols. I wanted the fame and the adulation. I wanted to be idolised.
But I don't know why I'm talking in the past tense because I still want it! I still want to feel glorious!
But that is only half the story because, of course, I've never achieved my ambition and, instead, I have to deal with the reality that I'm ordinary. That, no matter what I try my hand at, I haven't the talent to become an idol. That I am, at best, average.
And I'm not happy with being average, ordinary, run of the mill. I want to be special.
That is not to say I do not feel loved. I am aware that my family and husband love me. But I think there is one person who will never love me and that is myself.
I can not shake the feeling that, whilst I have had some success in life, the overall theme is one of failure. And, more to the point, every time I try to be glorious I come up short.
So for a long period of my life I've lacked the ambition to try. After all, why bother to try when I know I won't succeed? So, not only do I feel a failure, I've written myself off as always being a failure.
I wish it wasn't so. I look at everyone else in my life and they seem content with their lot. Or, at least, they don't seem as haunted by their failure as I am.
I wish I could be more like them. Be a bit more realistic and happy with my lot. But, no matter what I do, it seems I can't shake the feeling that I should've done better.
My life seems to be one of ambition denied and I'm not sure how much more of it I can take. What's the point of having a dream if they never come true and, more often than not, turn into nightmares? Just what is the point?

Ten Fashionable Tips On Looking Splendid

When one is going out in public as your female self for the first time, it's useful to have a check list of things to look out for so that you look splendid and don't soil the good reputation of trans women everywhere.
So, just for you, this is my Ten Fashionable Tips On Looking Splendid...

1. You may find walking in heels punishing at first but the higher you go, the easier it becomes. Thus I would recommend starting at 12 inches or more and working your way down. But please do avoid platforms because no one wants to look like Elton John... not even Elton John!
2. One common mistake learner trans women often make is not putting enough foundation on to cover the beard shadow. Thus, avail yourself of a ruler and ensure you get at least 2 inches on. You may find a trowel handy in the application.
3. Another common mistake by novice trans women is not making it clear to admirers what sex you truly are and thus you may find yourself late at night having to fight off unwanted sexual advances. To ensure this problem never arises, without making yourself look silly in any way whatsoever, wear a tight fitting skirt in a stretchy material such as latex. That way your true sex will be immediately apparent even in a darkened room in the back of a club.
4. Just as for real women, fashion has an acceptable age range for trans women too. Thus it is highly advisable, if you don't want to look like the wet blanket you truly are, that the older you are, the younger you dress and vice versa. Thus if you are 65+ nothing less than a romper suit will do and, girls, if you are lucky enough to be under 18, make sure you raid granny's wardrobe before setting out and let that twinset and pearls really work their magic!
5. You will discover that buying make-up is an expensive business so save money by using everyday objects you'd find around the house instead. For example, instead of buying eye or lip liner use a magic marker! And don't bother spending good money on mascara - apply some boot polish onto a comb and apply liberally!
6. Many's a time a learner trans woman has hit the dance floor to strut her funky stuff only to find herself quickly falling apart. Thus, to avoid any embarrassing slippage, girls, make sure you fix those false eyelashes, nails and boobs with proper strong adhesive like No More Nails™ or Superglue™
7. Another thing you may discover when learning the tricks of the trans woman trade is how time consuming it all is. Thus, to save time, you need to prioritise the things that matter. So, for example, no one ever notices the hairs sticking through your stockings so why bother going to all that time and effort shaving your legs? And when you have girls like Halle Berry rocking the short haircut why bother with a wig which makes you all hot and sweaty? Get with the in-crowd and wear your Number 2 with pride!
8. Instead of buying expensive clothes why not make your own? A quick visit to your local zoo provides an ideal opportunity to make your own leopard or snakeskin dress at a fraction of the cost! But do watch out for fashion trends and avoid giraffe completely! No one needs a polo neck that long!
9. You may find your "tackle" becomes hot and uncomfortable after being tucked for long periods of time. Thus do as all the other trans women do and pack a handheld fan in your bag to cool everything down once in a while! 
10. If you truly want to pass as female, it's all very well looking the part but you've also got to sound the part as well. So do not so much as speak as squeak! You may thus find it useful to have a supply of helium on standby (Helium can be found in all good balloon shops and some hospitals).

But, most importantly, girls, whatever you look like, remember to have fun! After all, life's far too short as it is (especially if you're over 65)!
So what have you got to lose? Get out there and have fun! :-)