David Bowie RIP

I awoke this morning to the news that David Bowie had died from cancer. I was stunned and couldn't believe it, so searched online for confirmation and, yes, it was true. I burst into tears - just the first of 3 times today (so far). Later I realised I was truly experiencing grief because I kept changing between sadness, disbelief, anger, shock and back again.
Judging from how this is being covered by the media - and even my local cinema posted a tribute! - his death has affected many. And judging from the tributes people are paying, Bowie means something different to everyone - quite apt for a man who was famously a chameleon. So let me tell you what David Bowie meant to me...
As I remember it, I was introduced to Bowie's music by Nicky Campbell when he was a late night DJ on BBC Radio 1 (before going onto Watchdog and whatever else he's done). It was clear from how often he played Bowie's music, Nicky Campbell was a great fan of Bowie's music. This was the late 1980s and I was a teenager at the time, and, of course, as I heard his music I realised I knew and liked a lot of his music before but just hadn't really taken notice who'd made it.
So the next stage was to move from the radio to actually spending my money on it. For some reason, I chose the occasion to do this whilst I was on holiday in Ibiza! I suspect my parents still remember me dragging them to all the record shops I could find on the island! The LP (when records were still on vinyl) I chose to buy was Space Oddity because I loved the title song so much. It's not his best album by any means but I particularly liked Cygnet Committee and Letter To Hermione and it was enough to make me want more.
My next purchase was Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars. It blew me away! I loved it so much I chose to play Five Years at my grandparent's golden wedding celebrations (where I was DJ) much to my family's disgust! Considering the seismic change in sound and style, it's worth noting that this LP was released just 3 years after Space Oddity - the same amount of time that today's pop stars take between albums that sound identical never mind releasing vastly different ones 1 a year as Bowie did then!
After that it was Diamond Dogs and from there to Hunky Dory (my personal favourite - I was thrilled when he played Andy Warhol when I saw him live at Wembley Arena on the Outside tour!) and Aladdin Sane - an album with many classic songs (Time, Rock n Roll Suicide, Drive In Saturday...) and my second favourite Bowie album.
Of course, delving into the world of David Bowie, I became fascinated by his style. This unashamedly androgynous man gave me hope long before I understood what Trans was - maybe I too could get away with wearing make-up if I can just become a hugely successful pop star like him! Pop stardom eluded me but the need to wear make-up didn't. So I unashamedly copied his look, getting my hair spiked and dyed Ziggy Stardust orange (which earned me the nickname of Pineapple Head at work!)... and wearing female clothing, make-up and nail polish. (Incidentally, it was this version of me that first met John).
So, as I look back now on this saddest of days, I give thanks to David Bowie for opening that door to feminity and making it known that I could join him. Once through that door, I obviously took my own path away from the route Bowie took but I was always keen to catch-up and see where he was at on subsequent albums like Heathen, Hours..., and his latest (and greatest in decades!) album, Blackstar.
I also thank him for opening that door to the New Romantics and every androgynous pop star that's followed since - heck, even some of the female ones like Madonna and Lady Gaga owe a great debt to Bowie! - who also influenced me and helped me to feel less strange and lonely in this world.
Not only that, I thank David Bowie for opening people's eyes and widening their sensibilities. I think it is without question that I would live in a much more transphobic world if Bowie had not existed!
So I guess that is why I find myself truly mourning today a man I never actually met, because it is difficult to imagine a single man who has had more influence and impact on my 43 years of life.
Thank you, David Bowie, and may you have a fantastic retirement beyond the stars.

10th January 2016

Mia: lots of hugs with Mia today. Also had several play sessions with ribbon. :) On the down side, she's not ate her food again. Not gonna bother with Whiskers in future! She clearly prefers Morrison's own!
Life: this morning I did the laundry. This afternoon I did some cartoons for Asylum magazine. This evening I watched several episodes of Making A Murderer on Netflix and was absolutely flabbergasted how the US police could be allowed to carry out not one but TWO miscarriages of justice against the same man! And the second time was so blatantly obvious too! It's unfathomable how they've not released him and his poor nephew!!
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is cuddles with Mia. She melts my heart and really makes life worth living! :)

9th January 2016

Mia: I discovered some tangled hair under Mia's chin this morning - perfectly in range for biting and scratching me! - so I tackled it with the comb. She's a very vocal cat - even the vet says so - so she let me know in no uncertain tones that she wasn't enjoying it one bit! But, once she'd had some Dreamies, all was forgiven! :)

Life: another day spent watching lots of catch-up telly and Amazon Prime. However, I also did a page of my colouring book. As I prefer to use felt pens rather than crayons and the pages are thin and so bleed through, I scanned in the page and then printed it out for me to colour. I used Sharpies which I love because they blend fantastically well, leaving a lovely flat colour. :)

One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is doing the colouring in. I need to find things that make staying indoors bearable - so I don't go out spending money - and this did the trick nicely today. :)

8th January 2016

Love: I'm renaming this Mia from now on. After all, the only love I have in my life is Mia!
Life: today my life has been affected by two films I've watched. The first was a documentary about loneliness. It made me realise how daft I am not to offer my services in keeping people from being lonely - especially, as it will be of mutual benefit to my own loneliness! So I've put steps in place to rectify that. The second was a film called The Choir (starring Dustin Hoffman and Eddie Izzard) which wasn't all that special but it made me realise that I'm in danger of wasting my talent (not singing, obviously! My artistic talent) and now I ask myself how much am I prepared to invest in my talent. It's a new way of looking at my Degree for me. Since Tuesday I've been wandering what's the point in getting a Degree and wasting all that money! But now I see it is an investment in my talent. I may not value myself but I sure value my talent!
College: this morning started with buying a lottery ticket in hopes I win at least £20k to pay for my education should everything fall through financially. If I win more than that, the rest will go to the hospice or something. This afternoon I did some research and photocopied my books I borrowed. I felt really awful having to break the spine on them but there was no way of getting them flat on the scanner otherwise! :(
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is watching The Choir. For a so-so movie, it sure has made an impact on me!

7th January 2016

Love: Mia.
Life: this morning started with a visit to the nurse to have my bloods done. She was a real stabber too! It hurt like hell! On the plus side, I've not been left with a huge bruise like usual. So who knows? Maybe stabbing the needle in is the way it's meant to be done! After that I drove over to Sainsburys (for a change) and did the food shopping. I shan't bother again though as they didn't have all I wanted. Then I came home for lunch before going into Liverpool to do some research and buy art materials. This evening, I treated myself to a chippy tea and watched Amazon Prime.
College: So I went to the Walker gallery on the look-out for interesting life drawings/paintings but didn't find so much. :( I then popped next door to the library to look for helpful books but didn't find any that suitable as I only have a week to spare not a month! ...I have to say that the Student Finance people have knocked me for six! Nothing is conclusive yet so I should be clinging onto hope but my mind has other ideas! I'm wondering whether this is 'the gods' testing how much I want this. Or maybe it's a sign that a degree really isn't meant for me. And what do I want one for anyway?!! Why not just put my nose to the grindstone and work!
One Thing: on a day like today when I'm depressed and bored, thank goodness I have Mia to bring light into my world! She's the only good thing in it! <3

6th January 2016

Love: Mia continues to be a sweetie. I also got her to play a bit longer today. :)
Life: the Christmas decs - what little I had up - came down first thing today. Then I went to the post office and back. Not just for the fun of it - I actually had something I wanted to post! With the exception of college work, fhe rest of the day has been spent watching Netflix.
College: I started on my research today.
One thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is doing some art journaling again. It helps take my mind off things - if only temporarily.

5th January 2016

Love: Mia started to play with her toys this morning - a rarity for her! - so I joined in! We had great fun... for about 5 minutes when she got bored! She has such a low attention span! This evening she took herself up to her blanket on the landing at about 7pm. I'm beginning to think it might be too cold or drafty or both on the ground floor for her!
College: So I was back at college today... and we were promptly told that the next 2 weeks will be for 'research' - with the exception of a half-hour meeting next week to get feedback on last term's work! So I went to the college library and got 3 books out. I'm sure they'll come in useful - just as soon as I've decided upon the simplest way of transferring the information I need to my sketchbook! However, today did come with one major drawback: according to the woman I spoke to at Student Finance, I won't get funding for the Foundation Degree (proper) and, if I paid for it myself, I then wouldn't get funding for the BA (Hons) Top Up! Which doesn't sound right or fair to me! So I told my personal tutor and she agreed with me and promised to look into it for me. So fingers crossed things will work out better than they currently look! :(
Life: this evening I have watched a couple of movies on Netflix before going to bed.
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is having Patricia on hand to steady my nerves and think straight when I couldn't after finding out the info from Student Finance!

4th January 2016

Love: I found myself gazing at Mia lovingly tonight as she slept. She doesn't half sleep in a funny position sometimes - with the top of her head resting underneath her! - it's a wonder she finds it comfortable!
Life: First thing this morning I took myself to the walk-in to see what they thought of this neck... and because I could move my head around without it hurting I was told to go away and stop wasting their time (or at least that's what it felt like!) but it still feels strained so I don't know! Just have to manage I guess! After that, I carried on into town to get a few groceries. When I got back it was near enough lunch time so I had my lunch before watching a bit of catch-up telly. This afternoon I went to see The Danish Girl which I have mixed feelings about - it's a lovely film but I don't think it gives the right impression about transsexuals. This evening, having stuffed myself on popcorn, I just had a cheese and egg muffin for tea and watched 42 - a biopic about Jackie Robinson. I'd heard of the name before but I didn't know anything about him - not even that he was black! It was a very good film - much better than The Danish Girl! Maybe one day we'll have a biopic about a Trans person that is its equal. On the downside, I wish I'd been more incredulous at the racism in the film but, even 70 years on, it's far too easy to imagine it as things really haven't moved on of any great depth. It's all surface as far as I'm aware!
College: so the Christmas break is over - back to college tomorrow. I can't really say I'm looking to it. :(
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is tidying up my lounge. It needed doing - especially with college starting tomorrow! - and it was a wonder what long lost items I found buried under it all!

3rd January 2016

Love: Mia is still a delight. Sadly, I missed her birthday on Friday but she doesn't seem to be holding it against me - coming for cuddles as usual. :)
Life: so a couple of days to catch up on then - New Year's Day was spent recovering, yesterday was spent driving home (along the A roads as the motorways were too stressful), and today has been spent doing laundry and watching catch-up telly. However, somewhere amongst this, I seem to have strained my neck! So I'm gonna try and get that looked at tomorrow. Oh, today I also did a collage on the Syrian refugee crisis.
One Thing: The one thing I'm choosing is being back home with Mia. She brings such joy into my life, it's gonna be a hard act to follow for anyone or anything! :)

31st December 2015

Life: This morning we went to Barnstaple, had a quick look around the shops and a visit to a cafe. After that we went to Sainsburys for a few bits before coming back to my parents' home for lunch. In the afternoon I played on the computer before tea was served. This evening we went out to a pub before joining the revellers in the square to see in the new year. There was a disco and folk were in fancy dress - it was a good atmosphere and definitely better than bleedin Jools Holland for the umpteenth year running!
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing tonight is seeing the new year in with my parents. It was worth the almost 300 mile journey for! :)