Love: I love John. He died over two years ago now? What does that mean? What do the 12 years I spent with him mean? I have been through much but I remember little. That worries and upsets me.
Life: this morning I cycled to the library and back. I borrowed a book on the history of murder and one of poetry. I also got details of art and craft groups to join. The afternoon was spent finishing off my craft project and watching iPlayer/Netflix. For tea I made chicken domburi and fed Mia her worming tablet. I also have booked a place on a poetry writing course at Liverpool Uni. It doesn't start until October so maybe my brain will be functioning better by then. I am now in bed, listening to PJ Harvey - an artist I haven't listened to for perhaps a decade.
Career: Life is good so far. I don't know why I was so scared. This is, after all, what women have done for millennia - except they often didn't have a choice in the matter and had a husband and kids to look after. I am a childless widow.