Wednesday, 27 January 2016

27th January 2016

Mia: I treated Mia to some leftover salmon this evening. I dunno whether because it was smoked or whether she's just not keen on salmon, but she was very reluctant to try it and, when she did, she still only ate a couple of mouthfuls before leaving it. I shan't bother in future!
College: I arrived at college just before 8am, had my free breakfast, signed the register and then started on my graphics work. Our lecturer had said we could use one of the graphics rooms, so I parked myself in there all day - except for a couple of hours wasted at Contextual Studies! - and it was a jolly good decision because I got to overhear what our lecturer was teaching the other students and learn stuff. :) At the end of the day, he praised me for all my hard work which gave me a confidence boost and cheered me up. However, having a HND, I couldn't help feel the praise was undeserved so I emailed him this evening to explain my situation. I also reflected this evening that, although I started the course with the singular ambition to get a Degree, what I really want is the education - to learn how to develop my skills. Which is why I'm so disappointed that I'm not gonna get funding for the FDe. As I understand it from my course tutor, the BA (Hons) top-up is all self-directed and I'm really in no position to do that in the specialisms I'm interested in! So I'm half-minded to see if I have enough money in the bank to pay for the FDe myself - or at least do one year of it! Or maybe I should look around and see if anyone else teaches illustration and collage?? (Obviously, it would be without the FDe/BA qualification) It fucking pisses me off that I who've not had a single penny out of Student Finance am being punished in this way! I could understand it if they'd already given me the money for my HND but they didn't! It's just fucking money pinching - on money I'd owe them! What have they seriously got to lose?!!
Life: having almost finished my current project almost a week early, this evening I just chilled and watched Amazon Prime before coming to bed.
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is getting a free education of sorts, overhearing what my lecturer was telling the other students. As they're only 1st years on the FDe - and it was all new to me (who's technically more educated than them) - it further illustrated why I'd be a fish out of water jumping onto the BA in September. It just can't happen. Simple as. I'm just gonna have to back myself out of this corner as gracefully as I can.