Sunday, 27 September 2015

27th September 2015

Love: I love being creative. Today has been a day of being creative. I have loved today. :)
Life: I started the day watching Doctor Who and it was very good; genuinely edge of the seat stuff at times! :) Then I started my essay for my degree course next week. The title is 'All About Me' and it had to be about ourselves. As I'm sure you're well aware, reading this blog, I hate talking about myself! So I struggled with this essay! No, really I did! :) Then I headed into Liverpool for heArt School. Today's class was 'Big Is Beautiful' and we had to produce an abstract painting. As it turned out I created - or helped create - 4 abstract paintings today! It was a very busy, enjoyable and exhausting day! :) When I got home afterwards, I had some of yesterday's leftovers for my tea and watched some Ted talks.
One Thing: the one thing I'm choosing today is watching the Ted talks. The talks were on ending the silence surrounding suicide. They were very rewarding to watch and I say that as someone who has been suicidal numerous times myself. The last of which was a mere 10 days ago and now look at me! I'm about to start a bloody degree for fuck sake! It just proves my mantra that you should never rule out the possibility of things getting better! The closest I've come to suicide, however, was one month after John died. I now kind of look at it as my lost weekend and I remember the barest details about it now but, basically, I kind of had a breakdown, saw absolutely no reason to continue with life; it'd lost all meaning for me, so I got in the car intent on driving to Barton Bridge on the M60 in order to throw myself off it. However, once I started driving, I drove to Harrogate instead. Booked myself into a Premier Inn and then, the next morning, walked up the road to Art From The Heart and had my first ever lesson in art journaling. Art journaling literally saved my life! But not only did it save my life, it helped me turn my life around and helped get me a place on my degree course! It is really quite some journey! But one that I never would've taken had I not changed my mind - for whatever reason! - and thrown myself off Barton Bridge! So, as I say, never rule out the possibility of life getting better.